Remember when Jeffrey would come up with these crazy questions? We'd be driving down the road, and all of a sudden from the backseat you'd hear, "Michael, if a shark and a rattlesnake got into a fight, which would win?" Of course, my response was always something like, "Jeffrey, that couldn't happen. Everyone knows that the internal balance of hormones and enzymes in rattlesnakes would be completely upset by the introduction of ocean water into their respiratory system so that they were no longer able to properly process the atmospheric molecules necessary for life long before the rattlesnake ever met up with a shark." In other words, the rattlesnake would drown first and there'd be no fight (I've only learned brevity with age).
I saw this article today, and it reminded me of those questions. Now, before I read the article, I would have thought that a man and a shark in a fight would be interesting only for a short while. Those first few moments while the shark was toying with his prey and circling in the water would be reminiscent of a scene from Jaws and could produce some eerie tension. Right after that, though ,the victim (the man was never really a competitor in this fight) would lose an arm, a leg, or some other appendage, then he would start swimming around in circles like an out of control jet ski, and the shark would finish his meal and cruise off to let things digest. No drama, no fight, just another day in the ocean.
Having read this article, I must admit that my vision of the way this plays out was obviously missing one critical piece: Vodka. Apparently, when a guy drinks enough vodka, he'll start to think that it's a good idea to try and fight a shark, something that no sober man would ever really consider. And once he's crossed that threshold, he might even believe that he can win the fight. Fueled with this hope, a nearby shark to pick on, and a healthy serving of vodka don't forget, the guy in our article actually wrestled and caught a bronze whaler shark barehanded!
The article says that he suffered only small tear marks in his trousers, but I'm betting that if he's married his wife made up for that with the beating she gave him for being so dense. Is it possible that this guy also enjoys snorkeling in rodent infested waters? One has to wonder if he's not at least related to someone in Oregon.
The best part of the whole article almost goes without saying: the guy realized that what he did was not too bright after he sobered up. You think! And you just can't pass up this quote, "When I sobered up I thought about it and I said, 'I'm a bit of an idiot doing it'." Nah, an idiot would have gotten himself killed, this guy was definitely smart about it. Most people wouldn't have thought to anesthetize themselves before fighting a shark.
1 comment:
I think the part where he said he wouldn't recommend doing it was pretty funny too! Did you hear about the man who actually had his head in the shark's mouth but escaped? His son was with him and they both starting hitting the shark on the head/nose and he got out of the shark's mouth virtually unscathed. Pretty weird stuff.
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