Can I Ride Your Bike?

I'm sure that you can remember at least one time that you stayed at your friend's house too late without a bike when you were a kid. It started to get dark and you didn't want to be late getting home, so you asked, "Can I just ride your bike?" Sometimes, your friend might say yes, but if it was a particularly cool bike they probably just offered to pump you. If you're not familiar with the term it just means that they'll give you a ride on their bike. Typically the passenger (the pumpee) would sit on the handlebars and try to yell directions to the driver (the pumper) who couldn't see anything because your big head was in the way. Sometimes things would go really wrong like the pumpee's foot would get caught in the spokes and a twisted mangled mass of flesh, blood, and metal would crumple to the ground, but generally it was safe.

Honestly, I still don't understand exactly how this is possible, but now I understand that riding bikes and getting pumped on a bike doesn't necessarily mean what you and I think it means. Has anyone else seen this story?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

Despite the title, the man in question was not having sex in the courtroom. He was in his own room at a local hostel when workers found him having sex with a bicycle. Hmmm…

My first thought is that it sounds painful. I can't imagine any part of a bicycle that would be any fun in a sexual context. Not any at all. The good news for the perp, though, is that if he goes to prison, his cot will be almost exclusively metal tubing and he'll have a tin cup to eat out of both of which will apparently keep him entertained for the duration of his sentence. He might not ever want to leave. His cellmate, on the other hand, won't ever look at anything metal the same way again.

But what ever possessed the man to try this strange act of self gratification. Did he hear that the bike was an easy ride? And is it really his fault if the bike taunted him with its tight seat and stiff spokes?

At least the neighbors can sleep safe at night since the guy's name will be on the sex offenders list. I can just imagine the mom's now. "Sure, you can trick-or-treat at the neighbor's house, just don't ride your bike. You never know what strangers might want to do with a cute little bike like yours." Or "Have you heard about the sex offender down the street? My kids told me that he tried to get them to look at bicycle frames with him. Thank goodness they didn't ride down there, or they'd probably have been walking home."

Most disturbing of all, though, is the last sentence of this article which tells us that this man is not alone. Apparently, someone else has been convicted in recent history of sex with pavement. Ouch! Exactly how much KY does it take for that to feel good? At least a bike is already greased.

The Line

Well, we did play softball last night, but I went ahead and watched Heroes online at lunch. This episode was okay, but like so many other shows this second season seems to be struggling to keep the pace set by the first. I'm not ready to give up yet, but I do hope things improve soon. Highlight below to read more:

First off, who is Adam Monroe? If you didn't notice, that was the name on the file that Bob had laying on his desk when Mohinder first walked in and found out about the serum that he was supposed to give to Monica. I just can't wait to meet another "hero."

Anyway, Mohinder is such a dork, and it's becoming a bit annoying. Supposedly, he enticed the company into extending him an offer so that he and Mr. Bennett could work together to bring them down. Apparently, they are suspicious of him, so they set him up in a lab at Isaac's old loft to keep a close eye on his work. So far, we've gotten the impression that Mohinder knows they are bad and that he knows they are suspicious of him. Then the next thing you know, he's bringing Molly back to them for treatment and taking Monica away from her family and halfway across the country without even letting her say goodbye so that he can experiment on her. And to make it even better, he actually considers giving her an untested treatment that might take her powers away. Finally, he acts like he's standing up to them only to back down because he doesn't want to take Molly away. It just makes me want to scream.

Now, Mohinder is such a threat that the company has assigned Jessica (I know he called her Niki, but we all know better than that) to keep an eye on him while Bob took Monica home to New Orleans. Thank goodness he gave her a plausible excuse though, "Remember, you were at an impromptu Burger Barn training session and you couldn't call home." She wasn't gone for a few hours. She was in New York. She had to have been gone for days. I just wonder if Bob gave her the shot at some point during the trip and then put the iPod in her hands so that she'll try something, fail, and then call them for help.

Plus, what game is the company playing anyway. Why would they want to take Monica's power away? I don't think they do. I think they want to control her by having the ability to take her power away. The only question is why Bob is helping them. He has the ability to make millions just by touching stuff, so why does he want to help the company have that kind of power over others with abilities? Do they have something over his head? That's about the only thing that makes sense because money sure wouldn't be good leverage on him.

On the other side of the world, Mr. Bennett and the Haitian have met up with Ivan to find out about the paintings. Apparently, Ivan is pretty high up in the company since he says that he setup the company that Mr. Bennett worked for in Texas and made a ton of promises about what could do if Mr. Bennett came back to work for the company. Of all the stuff he said, only one thing really caught me as interesting. He said that the paintings were in the warehouse where they tagged the liquid guy. Is that a guy that has power over liquids or a guy that can turn to liquid? Maybe we'll get a glimpse of him sometime this season.

And if Mohinder is a dork, Maya is an absolute moron. Has she never been hit on by a guy before? Or has she never met a total creep "somewhere in Mexico?" Sylar (or Gabriel as he likes to be called this season) is radiating psycho, stalker vibes and Alejandro seems to be the only one that can see it. The only thing that Alejandro has wrong is that Sylar isn't interested in any of Maya's physical entertainment, just her power, and now Sylar has enticed her into using her power for her own gain. The only positive thing about this storyline is that it won't be "somewhere in Mexico" next week; it'll be "somewhere in America."

Ando is still reading the notes from Hiro, and I am amazed at the fact that the guy helping him out isn't asking any questions about their origin or contents. Anyway, Hiro accidentally revealed his power to Yaeko and finally admitted his love for her. Unfortunately, that meant a rift between him and Kensei which has altered the course of history. The stage is now set perfectly for Hiro to become his own hero by taking over the tasks that Kensei was supposed to perform, and Kensei is set to hold a grudge for the rest of time. Perhaps this slight shift has rippled though time, though, and explains the slight timeline inconsistencies that we've seen so far this season.

Back in the United States, Claire faked death to get back at the cheer captain for not letting her on the squad. With the help of West, they made it appear that she flew up in the air and fell to her death. Now Debbie is not only humiliated but also suspended for drinking and Claire is on the cheer squad. Her lie to her father looks like it's going to work out, but in the background I saw a look on May's face that makes me think that she doesn't completely believe that Debbie made the story up. Maybe May has a power, too, and she realizes that what Debbie saw could have actually happened. I think that this little prank is going to cost Claire more than it's cost Debbie.

Finally, Peter and his new girl found the building in Montreal with the godsend symbol. Now they just have to figure out what they really found. Someone named Adam left a note for Peter indicating that the company is bad. When was Peter investigating the company? Was it during the months between the end of last season and the start of this one? If so, then why doesn't Nathan know that he's alive? And who is Adam? I'm betting that it's Adam Monroe (remember the file in Bob's office), and I think that he is playing Peter and wants to make him believe that he was already on this journey and that Peter and he are already friends. At the end, Peter accidentally teleports to the future using the powers that he snagged from Hiro, but since Peter is again not very good at using any of his abilities, I wonder if he'll actually be able to get himself back home.