What About Ray?

As you all know, Mother and Dan are divorced. So, it would not be unexpected or unusual for me to find out that Mother is dating. Of course, it would be a little weird at first. It was when she first starting seeing Dan, but maybe that was the circumstances. If you haven’t heard this story, then enjoy:

After Mom and Dad got divorced, we lived in Deadwood for a while but soon moved back to Shreveport. Shortly after that move, Mother took us the park one afternoon. Oddly enough, she took us to a park in Bossier that we had never been to before. It was tucked way back in a neighborhood and was not a place that you would randomly happen upon. I think Mom told us that she thought it would be cool because it was also at the end of the Barksdale runway (if you’ve been reading my posts, you’ll know that this is the same park I took my kids to a couple of weeks ago). Anyway, while we were there, Caci noticed a man, his dog, and his daughter playing nearby. Like any kids, we were attracted to the dog, and we hung out with them for a little while before leaving.

A week or so later (I’m a guy, so I don’t remember exact timeframes; Caci could probably tell you to the minute), Mom decided to take us to Chuck E. Cheese in the Eastgate shopping center. While were standing in line, Caci glanced behind us and saw the same man from the park. She nudged me and commented, and I agreed that it was him. Caci told Mom that she was a little nervous that this guy might be following us. Mom said something to effect of, “isn’t he cute, though?” Which I think kind of grossed Caci out. Nothing against the guy, I just think 11 year olds don’t really go for 40 year olds very often.

A few days later, we came home from somewhere and this same guy showed up at our house. Caci was really freaked at this point, but Mom calmed her down, introduced us to Dan, and explained that they had been trying to give us some room but also gain some kind of familiarity with him. Having lived through that, I’m pretty sure that if Leah is ever gone and I decide to date again that I won’t choose to go down the, “hey kids, that girl that you think is a psycho, child-molesting, stalker is really my date” route, and I doubt that Mom would do that again either.

Anyway, back to the present. Caci called me last night to tell me that Bubba’s mother saw our mother at a church function over the weekend and that she was with her husband. Caci was stunned, so she called me. Why not call Mom? I don’t know. She called me. She even had Mom’s new husband’s name: Ray.

Who the heck is Ray? I don’t even know anyone named Ray, and Mom’s already dated the guy and gotten married without telling us. She was just at my house last weekend. I would have thought that it would come up in conversation, but not even Logan whispered a word. Oh, wait, maybe he doesn’t know either. It would be tough to trick him since he’s home schooled and they spend all of their waking hours together, but Mom’s tricky that way. I remember when I was kid and she had me convinced that the tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter Bunny were all real. I mean that was three doozies all at once. If she could pull that over on a guy as smart as me, getting married behind Logan’s back would be cake.

So, who’s Ray? The kids finally have the upper hand. We know that she’s married again, we know his name, and she still thinks we’re in the dark. We’ve got to use this to our advantage. Just to throw her off guard, I called this morning and told her that the “sun’s RAYs seemed extra bright today,” and that “I just love being married…it’s like a RAY of sunshine in my life.” She tried to cover by telling me that she had a great time with Uncle Terry, MawMaw, Papa, and Logan at a church cookout this weekend. She said it was kind of funny that Blake and Carter kept thinking that she was GranGran (Aunt Patti) and then gave me some lame story about MawMaw calling Uncle Terry “T-Ray.” Sure, that’s MawMaw’s nickname for Uncle Terry. Sure, his middle name is Raymond. All circumstantial evidence if you ask me.

She’s obviously trying to throw us off the scent by suggesting that this is all just an innocent case of mistaken identity, but I think we all know better. Caci, when you get the chance, give Mom a call, think up as many different ways as you can to work “RAY” into the conversation, and listen to her squirm.