Animal Rights

Two great articles for you today, and they both involve animals.

First up, a mouse that just won't give up: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17773580/

Apparently, Bill Exner and his wife have issues with killing mice. I only say that because they claim to have caught the same mouse in their house three different times. I am making the assumption here, though, that when they say they "caught the mouse in their house" that they mean caged, boxed, trapped, etc. not found, walked in on, surprised, etc. It could go either way though. Mrs. Exner is quoted as saying, "He's [the mouse] taunting him [Mr. Exner] – I swear he's taunting him."

I hope I got that right. Honestly, in the context of the story it could easily have been Mr. Exner that was taunting the mouse. What else could you call it when you catch the same mouse three times? Why else would you let it go???? There's only one explanation. You want to taunt the mouse. Mr. Exner just wants to make sure that that furry little rodent knows who's the master of his domain and it ain't no little buck toothed rodent.

Of course, the rodent ain't all stupid. As long as these guys keep catching him and letting him go, he's going to have to some fun. Apparently, he took Mr. Exner's dentures and hid them behind the wall and under the floorboards. Now, I would normally ask why go through all the trouble to cut a hole in your wall, pry up the baseboard, and chop through some lumber to get back a set of dentures that no sane person would ever put in their mouth again, but I'm going to skip that on the assumption that anyone that catches a mouse and lets it go three times might actually rather spend the extra money to repair the damage they did to their own home while sucking on the dentures that they retrieved during their treasure hunt. Besides, once you get started, the curiosity of what else you might find just keeps you going.

Second, not even the crocs want to be in the Gaza Strip anymore. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17797967/

With all of the fighting over the Gaza Strip, things have heated to a level where the animals are paying to get out of there in any way they can. Unfortunately, the only crossing is for people and it's constantly monitored, so they've taken to piggybacking on brave humans that have little to no sense.

Case in point: just last a week a woman was stopped and found to be carrying three crocodiles under her robe. She said she "was asked" to carry them across. Obviously she was trying to avoid telling the authorities that she hears animals talking to her, but the good news is that everyone around "was admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body."

That's what I'm looking for in a woman. Someone that's covered up from head to toe and when I finally get to take that robe off I find snapping jaws of death crawling out of her armpits. Sign me up!

She's not alone, though. Based on this report, another woman tried to bring a monkey across (that could be code for her husband, I'm not entirely sure) tied to her chest, and other travelers tried to bring exotic birds and a tiger cub (where'd they hide that?). Obviously, the animals in Gaza have stooped to a new low in this conflict and we must call in the Discovery channel and National Geographic immediately to help improve conditions in Gaza for the animals. If not for them, at least do it for the unsuspecting husbands on the other side of that border crossing. Snap! Snap!