Over Your Dead Body

Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's and wondered if you could really pull something like that off? Or worse yet, what if you were the one interacting with a corpse and you didn't realize it? What could be worse than that? Well…..how about waking up during your flight from Delhi to London and discovering a corpse seated next to you?

Read the full article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17683917/?GT1=9145

So, apparently, Paul Trinder, woke up from a brief, in-flight nap to discover that the vacant seat next to him had been filled and another nearby seat was now occupied by a weeping woman. "What the heck?" he thought, "When I checked-in, I was the only person in this part of first class, how did these people get in here?" As he reached to ring for the flight attendant to ask for some assistance with the noise from all that wailing, he accidentally bumped the elderly lady sitting next to him. He quickly apologized, but she didn't even budge.

"Snob!" he thought to himself, but quickly decided that that was no way to treat a lady and he decided to make small talk. "So, where are you from?" he asked. No response. "Are you flying home or going for a vacation?" No response. "CAN….YOU….HEAR….ME?" No response.

Just then the plane hit turbulence, and the nice old lady slipped out of her seat. Not slipped like she was sneaking away to the restroom. Slipped like slid through the seat belt onto the floor. Slipped like a limp rag doll. And she still didn't say a word. Paul's freaking out now, and the flight attendant finally appears. Obviously, the woman is in need of assistance, and the two of them reposition her in the seat after which the flight attendant explains that since the lady died shortly after takeoff, they decided it would only be proper to upgrade her to first class.

"And you didn't think it would be good idea to wake me and ask if I wanted to babysit a corpse on the way home?" Paul asked. More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again. They reposition her again.

"Well, sir, it's just so crowded in the back, and we didn't want the passengers to feel uncomfortable flying next to a corpse," replied the flight attendant. More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again. More wailing in the background.

"Am I not a passenger, too? Do I not get an opinion on this? And how did you get her up here in the first place?" More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again.

"I do apologize sir, but we don't have anywhere else for her to be so that she doesn't really disturb anyone." More turbulence. They catch the body before it slides away this time.

"It's disturbing me. Can't you put her in one of those special flight attendant seats?" More turbulence. They start stuffing pillows around the body to hold it in place.

"Sir. We can't put her in one of the jump seats. Those are for flight attendants only, and it just wouldn't be right to give preferential treatment to a passenger simply because she died." More turbulence. More pillows.

"Preferential treatment? Are you kidding me? You're going to have to buy me some liquor if you want me to stay in this seat next to the human Slip 'n' Slide."

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the way it went down. I don't know Paul Trinder and there's not much to go on in the story, but I can just imagine a couple of members of the flight crew with an old lady hanging on to their shoulders while they move slowly down the aisle explaining that she had a little too much vodka tonic before boarding. Apparently, you can fool almost an entire airplane with that Weekend at Bernie's gag. Who knew?