Christmas 2006

No white Christmas for us this year. So far, I’ve only had one of those in my entire life, and I’m not complaining. Unlike the Colorado branch of the family, Christmas here in Texas was relatively uneventful.

We celebrated Christmas with Dad and Lynn earlier in the month since they were going to Utah to spend Christmas day with Lynn’s family. Caci, her family, and Jeffrey were all there as well and we enjoyed eating and visiting together for a few hours. The kids, of course, enjoyed seeing their cousins and receiving gifts. We even got to finish the day off with a trip to see a model home built in the same floor plan as the new home that Dad and Lynn are building. They’ll be living just across the highway and railroad tracks in a new part of the neighborhood Leah and I live in. I think it’ll be cool to have them closer.

The Friday before Christmas, we headed out to Mother’s to celebrate Christmas with her and Logan. The kids couldn’t hardly stand to wait until Saturday morning to open their presents, but they made it through the night. It seems like they all got a game of one kind or another from Mom, and we spent the next little while playing each of them in turn until it was time to get ready for Brin’s wedding.

Since we happened to be in town that weekend for Christmas, we got the added bonus of attending Brin’s wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the church was completely packed. There were literally not any seats left in the building. Afterward, we went to the reception at the Country Music Hall of Fame and enjoyed some good food and visiting until fairly late in the evening.

The next morning, we had to leave early to get back to Plano to work and attend Christmas Eve services at our church. The girls’ favorite part is lighting the candles, and so far the building hasn’t gone up in smoke, so I’d say they handle them pretty well. As always, we went out to eat after the last service of the evening and meandered through our neighborhood looking at Christmas lights on our way back to our house.

The kids were up at about 3am, just like every year, and they came to get me out of bed to look at everything Santa left for them. As I promise every year, I got up that once to look, and then I went back to bed. The kids brought their pillows and blankets downstairs and all piled onto the couch together to sit in front of the Christmas awaiting 6am so that they could wake Leah and me up to open presents. Thankfully, for me, they fell asleep again and didn’t get up until almost 7am.

When Abbie came in my room, I looked at my clock and it read 6:57am, and then she pleading asked, “When are you going to get up? I’ve been waiting on you since 6:54am.” I guess three minutes is an eternity to kids looking at a pile of goodies from Santa.

After all the gifts were exchanged and opened, I made our traditional French toast breakfast for Christmas morning, and we started getting ready for Leah’s family. They generally come over to visit on Christmas afternoon and have lunch with us. It was a pleasant visit, and the kids received yet even more toys. I don’t know where we are going to put everything.

And just about the time that Leah’s family was leaving, Aunt Sis arrived home. She’s moved in with us now; living in a corner bedroom and bathroom of our upstairs. We had a nice Christmas dinner with her that evening, and then I went to bed exhausted.

Gender Testing

Until just now, I had no idea that there was even such a thing as gender testing. Even more amazing, though, I had no idea that one could fail a gender test. It's not that unthinkable that someone would fail a math test, spelling test, or even a driving test (I did that once upon a time myself), but a gender test? How exactly do you fail a gender test?

According to a recent article from BBC News (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6188775.stm) an Indian woman (?) athlete managed to do just that. The article says that she has been stripped of her silver medal (among other things in the name of this test) from the Asian Games. Amazingly, this is not the first gender test that she has been through. She passed one at the Asian track and field championship in South Korea last year where she also won silver.

So what's different this time? Did she forget to study? Was this an essay test instead of the multiple choice exam they gave in South Korea? Did she just not get a good breakfast? They always say to eat a good breakfast before you take a major exam.

Details on the test itself are rather sketchy in the article, but they did point out that it involved a gynecologist, an endocrinologist, and a psychologist. Now, I can see where the first two of those are pretty objective about the parts and pieces and how they work, but I wonder how the psychologist plays into the mix. I imagine that they ask deeply probing questions like:

1. Shopping is…
   
   1. A fascinating experience that is even better when shared.
      
   2. A method used to extract secrets from terrorists.
      
2. What does "nothing is wrong" mean?
   
   1. Start guessing and apologizing or I'll kill you in your sleep.
      
   2. Oh crap.
      
3. The best time for sex is…
   
   1. When your mood and your schedule are right.
      
   2. Do you wanna? I've got a few minutes.
      
4. When you observe a man doing a simple task, you think…
   
   1. That frickin' baboon is doing it wrong and ruining everything.
      
   2. Why would I watch a man do a simple task?
      
5. When a man doesn't notice your new hair color it means…
   
   1. He no longer loves you.
      
   2. Hair has different colors?
      
6. After a man explains the undeniable logic of his point of view…
   
   1. It proves that he just doesn't get it.
      
   2. Case closed!
      
7. Your reaction to this test is…
   
   1. Bastard!
      
   2. Ha ha! You're dead, dude.
      

Sample test slightly modified from Scott Adams blog on this same topic.

10 Most Dangerous Toys

You really should read the original article for this. I certainly can't write this up any better than Paige Ferrari, but if you don't have the time, enjoy my excerpts from the original. Note that "we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm."

The List

1. LAWN DARTS – "Removable parts? Suffocation risk? Lead paint? Pussy hazards compared to the grandaddy of them all…If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved."
   
2. GILBERT U-238 ATOMIC ENERGY LAB – "For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three 'very low-level' radioactive sources…It's unclear what effects the Uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set, but exposure to the same isotope – U-238 – has been linked to Gulf War Syndrome, cancer, leukemia, and lymphoma, among other serious ailments. Even more uncertain is the longterm impact of being raised by the kind of nerds who would give their kid an Atomic Energy Lab."
   
3. MINI-HAMMOCKS FROM EZ SALES – "…children spending an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death. That's what happens when you spend $4 on a hammock."
   
4. SNACKTIME CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS – "It chewed for chewing's sake. With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub's long blonde hair got caught in the doll's rabid jaws."
   
5. SKY DANCERS – "When spun aloft, the wings – which felt so soft and cushy in the aisles of Toys 'R' Us – turned into steely-hard child manglers…over 150 children fell prey to Sky Dancer's helicopter-blade arms and erratic 'Oh-Jesus-it's-chasing-me!' flying patterns."
   
6. BAT MASTERSON DERRINGER BELT GUN – "…[A] two-in-one combo that took care of all your pants-securing needs with the option every ten-year-old dreams of: the ability to shoot caps at groin level...Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner's greatest enemy might have actually been puberty."
   
7. CREEPY CRAWLERS – "Nothing says safety like an open hot plate. And nothing says fun like using that open hot plate to create molten, rubbery insects you can throw at your sister while narrowly avoiding setting the house ablaze."
   
8. JOHNNY REB CANNON – "For only $11.98, young rebels got a cannon, six cannon balls, a ramrod, and a rebel flag. What better way to permanently maim your little brother while spreading valuable lessons about states' rights?"
   
9. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA MISSILE LAUNCHER – "It takes just a few jabbed eyes, some torn intestines and the death of a child to bring down a party…"
   
10. FISHER-PRICE POWER WHEELS MOTORCYCLE – "Eager youngsters who gunned the throttle found that it often stayed gunned…the child on the motorcycle was then taken on a hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride. At one point, he or she would face choices unthinkable except in an Evel Knievel meets Knightrider crossover episode: Do I jump? Or do I ride it out and see if I can clear the gully? Is it sentient? Can it be reasoned with?"
    
11. (Honorable Mention) MANLEY TOYS DISCO LIGHT – "The brightly-colored disco ball cost 1,500 Chuck E. Cheese tickets. For the average skee-baller, that adds up to about 15 months of play at a cost of approximately $20,000…When left on too long, the ball's multicolored sides begin to melt. The plastic goop then slides down to your shag carpet, creating a foul smelling inferno of plastic, hair, and light bulb filament…The real danger here is probably less to dancing children than to the transfixed pot smoker."

She Uses Her Fingers

Since Dad and Lynn will be in Utah on Christmas Day, this past Saturday, we had several relatives over the house to celebrate Christmas with them. We had arranged beforehand to meet at my house around 11:30am so that we could eat by noon, and a little past 11:00 we got a call from Dad saying they were on their way from Allen. I wasn't really sure why they were coming from Allen since they live in The Colony (yes, that's a real TX city), but Caci clarified that Dad had to stop and get a haircut.

Still I was perplexed. Allen is a good 30 minutes from The Colony and there are probably 50 places to get a haircut between his house and wherever he went in Allen. "Why go all the way to Allen?" I wondered aloud, and Caci was prepared with the answer. It seems that she had asked the same question already and had received assurance that the hairstylist in Allen was the best for Dad.

"She uses her fingers," Caci said.

"Huh?" I know that's what you thought, too. "She uses her fingers for what?"

"I don't really understand either," Caci said. "I'm just passing along what Lynn told me."

Is Dad getting his hair cut by Edna Scissorhands? Or is she plucking each hair out one by one? Or is it neither and the dull edges of her fingers are the reason that he's running late.

Apparently, it takes a while to cut hair when you're using your fingers, and for good reason: you've got to mash the hair repeatedly until the heat generated begins to break down the molecular structure of the hair and allows for a clean break leaving a more natural look than barbaric, sharp-edged tools can provide. It takes years of practice and skill to accomplish this feat without leaving behind dead or split ends not to mention the painstaking detail of getting all the hair cut to an even length. I can't really afford that high-end of a stylist, so I just stick to the lady down the street and a set of clippers. Sure my hair looks like it's been cut after I leave there, but at least it's still the same day as when I went in.

Caci and I still aren't sure what's really special about using your fingers to cut hair, but we sure did enjoy laughing about it.

State of Texas Tortilla Chip

This news article beats all. A Flower Mound woman apparently found a tortilla chip that she believes looks like the state of Texas, but who cares?

There've been people that see the Virgin Mary in snack chips, grilled cheese sandwiches, tree bark, and a host of other things, some of which even ended up on Ebay, and I can understand the fascination in those items to some degree. At least they could be viewed in some way as miraculous, religious artifacts. But a chip shaped like Texas? And if you look at the picture in the article, it doesn't even resemble Texas all that much.

The woman that noticed this treasure, says that she was preparing a snack for herself and her husband when found this anomaly. She's been keeping it in a Ziploc bag to show friends and neighbors, but now she's ready to move to the next level. She assured reporters, however, that while she did not have any plans to sell the chip on Ebay, she wasn't sure how long the chip would last if she framed it. Framed it!

I find myself wondering how this ever made it into the news. I think the most likely scenario is that the woman called the news station to report her find, and I can only imagine how that conversation went:

Reporter: This is NBC 5, how may I help you?

Woman: You are not going to believe what I found in my house.

Reporter: Try me. I've been doing this for a while. Well, at least two weeks since I graduated from that correspondence school anyway. In that time I've heard just about everything, though.

Woman: There's a special chip at my house.

Reporter: Is it a computer chip? Like some new technology.

Woman: No. It's much more special than that.

Reporter: Really. Is it alien technology?

Woman: No. It's not technology at all. Are you listening to me? It's a chip.

Reporter: [incredulous] Like a potato chip? A snack?

Woman: Well, that's the thing. I was making a snack of tortilla chips for my husband and I when I noticed one that was oddly shaped.

Reporter: You noticed an oddly shaped tortilla chip? I'm gonna need more than that for a story.

Woman: It's not just oddly shaped. It's shaped like Texas.

Reporter: Did you buy the Texas shaped tortilla chips? They're on sale at Tom Thumb this week.

Woman: No. That's what makes it so special. It was in a regular bag.

Reporter: Okay. I'm intrigued. Go on.

Woman: Well, like I said, I was making a snack when I noticed this chip shaped like Texas. I've never seen food that looked like something before, so it seems kind of odd to eat.

Reporter: Hmm…most of my food looks like…well, food, but I guess if I wasn't used to that it would seem odd to me, too. Before I can determine if this is newsworthy, though, I'm gonna need a little more information. Did you bite the chip into the shape of Texas? Because if you did, then that would just be silly and not worth reporting at all.

Woman: Oh, heaven's no. I couldn't bring myself to take a bite of Texas. It just came out of the bag just like this.

Reporter: So, let me get this straight, you found a chip that you think looks like Texas, you didn't bite or break it into that shape, and you aren't sneaking snacks from a bag of Texas-shaped tortilla chips. Is that correct?

Woman: You got it. Can I get on TV? I've been waiting for a tornado to come through all my life so I could tell the world that it sounded just like a train, but I've given up that. Can't this be on the news instead?

By now we all know that she got her wish and this extraordinary event was reported both in print and on the news. I wonder why I never thought of this angle for fame? I like those tortilla strips and you wouldn't believe how many those I've seen that were shaped like Nebraska. I've missed the boat.

Let’s Make a Deal

Okay, kids. If you haven't already heard enough reasons to stay away from drug and alcohol abuse, let me give you one more. Leah's brother is going to begin his most recent stay in jail today for violation of parole due to drug and alcohol abuse. Regardless of what you might think of him or his actions, we all have to acknowledge that he has some serious problems and needs some serious help. Knowing that let me tell the options that the courts offered. Keep in mind that through all of this, he will have a felony drug conviction on his record making it extremely difficult for him to ever be employed again.

The courts put two options on the table: prison or rehab. Cool! He could go into rehab, kick the substance abuse habits, and become a productive member of society. Or he could just choose to serve time in prison, be released, have trouble finding a job, turn back to substance abuse, get arrested again, serve time in prison, etc., etc. Let's avoid door number two, Monty.

Oh, but for the gritty details. If he goes to prison he has to be there for 6-9 months, then he's on probation for the remainder of a 24 month sentence, and he has to pay $15/month for the entire duration. That doesn't sound like too much fun. I hear bad things happen in prison and it's not really treating the problem.

On the other hand, if he goes into rehab, he has to wait in prison for 6 months to get in, then he'll be in total lockdown (no visitors) for 9 months, then he's in a halfway house for 4 months, then he's on probation for 10 years, and he has pay $240/month for the duration of this time period. Hang on. Let me get the calculator out….that plus that…times that…carry my one…that's $33,360! Compare that to the $360 total in the first choice.

Which of these would you choose?

Even if you knew you needed rehab, which would you choose?

Is it just me, or does it seem like our justice system is trying to encourage Leah's brother to decline rehab?

Why would they do that?

Seems to me like you have to be on drugs (and actually high at the time this deal is offered) to ever choose to get help. No rational person would pay 100 times as much money and spend 6 times as long in the system just to get help.

I thought we had overcrowding in our prisons. That's probably why they'll let him out in 6 months; they don't have room for him to be in prison when all he did wrong was abuse some substances, put the public in danger, ruin his life, and stress out the rest of his family.

Most of the time, the crazy decisions that you about in the news don't seem to affect us directly, and I enjoy poking fun at the news and our government, but now that it's hitting closer to home, it's just that much more ludicrous. It seems to me that our justice system has become a lot less like justice and a lot more like a game show, but this game show is rigged.

Criminals plead their cases down so that they don't have to serve time for their crimes, and the justice system puts together deals that steers people to make decisions that are not in the best interest of the people. Don't get me wrong. I'm all about Leah's brother serving time for his crimes. I'm all about society punishing him for doing wrong. I'm not really interested in spending my tax dollars to clothe and feed him so that we can turn loose again on the streets with his only option being to turn back to substance abuse again; especially not when I know that there is a rehab program that is part of the corrections system.

Maybe I'm just naïve and the rest of you already knew that the world works this way. Maybe I just haven't lived enough to be okay with this system. Maybe I've got too much rose color in my glasses. Whatever the case, I still think this is a crazy way for our tax dollars to be spent.

She’s Home

Welcome home, Aunt Sis!

My dad's sister, Debbie, and my stepmom, Lynn, set out from Springfield, OR this past Saturday in a U-Haul loaded with all of Aunt Sis' things and pulling a trailer with her car. They suffered one blowout somewhere in CA along the way, but otherwise, I hear that the trip went well. Apparently, things went well enough for them to avoid much sleeping as they arrived earlier this afternoon in Dallas. They were nearly a full day ahead of what they originally anticipated. Right now they are all at Dad's resting and recovering from the trip, and I think we are going to give Aunt Sis a little time to get her head straightened out before we visit with the kids.

The Smeller’s the Feller

Since I never work anyway (according to some), it will be no surprise that I ran across another humorous news article today. It reminded me again of how silly our airline security rules have become, and of course, how you can underestimate the stupidity of the general public. You can find the actual article here, and you can read my commentary below.

As many of you have experienced, or read about in my blog, the rules for items that can be passed through security are becoming more and more strict. No gels, liquids, lighters, aerosols, etc. Interestingly, this article points out a hole that I'm sure will soon be plugged (pun intended) in that matches are not restricted. As a matter of fact, according to this article, you can take up to eight books of matches onto an aircraft.

Let me get this straight. I can't take hand sanitizer on board or a mostly empty tube of toothpaste. I can't take Lysol air freshener or deodorant on board. I can, however, take enough matches to burn down the entire state of Texas. Given these odd rules, is it really any surprise that when a woman passenger has to pass gas during that she would light matches to cover the odor?

Well, maybe it's a little bit of surprise since generally only guys, and more specifically drunk, frat guys, try to light their farts, but what else was she supposed to do? The gas needed masking, and since the passengers had no gas masks, all you can do is light up. Heaven knows that matches are far safer than hand sanitizer. After all, they were safety matches. There's no safety in hand sanitizer. That stuff is a killer….of germs. And we sure don't want her to have any air freshener. That stuff could explode. A fire contained in a tube of metal roughly 6.5 miles above the surface of the earth, hurtling through the air at 550 mph is at least contained. Geez.

I'm wondering if the no smoking sign was off during this exercise, or if she's going to get in trouble for that. The article says that she has already been released (thank God. I don't think anyone could take any more releasing from her) and that she's not going to be charged. She apparently broke no rules; just wind. I guess that means that it was a smoking flight.

The other thing that I wonder is why they had to land the plane, deplane everyone, conduct an investigation, and interview passengers before they determined that this lady had been lighting matches. They say that there were 99 passengers, so the plane was probably fairly full. No one noticed those bright flares of light and thunderous roars of gas from her seat? Or did they think it was just part of the show?

All I'm saying is that as a result of this, not only will matches be banned, but they'll probably figure a way to make sure that we can't fart in mid-air either for fear that a crafty terrorist would ignite the gas with the spark of someone's seat belt and then use the plane as a flaming rocket to rain death and destruction on the infidel hoards. They'll probably have to install sniffers in every airport to conduct a Flatulent Attack Response Test (we'll call it the FART system) before allowing you to board. Next to go will be all of the fast food restaurants inside the secured areas of the airport because once you're past the sniffer, you can't be allowed to introduce anything that your body could convert into explosive materials. It stinks, but this article really doesn't bode well for McDonalds.

Fallout

As usual, the network hyped this as the biggest show of the season, and it turned out to be ho-hum. I've almost gotten to a point that I don't want to see the "scenes from next week" or any ads for my favorite shows for fear that it will ruin the experience as my expectations are dashed on the rocky shores of reality. The writers/producers/director/someone just tried to cram a little bit too much into this episode and ended up with not enough of anything substantial. It wasn't that it was a bad episode, per se, it was just not great. Read below for more:

Claire told her dad, Mr. Bennett, about her ability to heal, and Mr. Bennett revealed to Claire that he already knew. Cryptically, he revealed to her that he's "done things he's not proud of" to protect her, and that there are "others" out there that want to hurt her. Obviously, Sylar is on that list of others, but is he implying that there are more people like Sylar that are after the Heroes? And who the heck does Mr. Bennett work for? Regardless, once Claire told Mr. Bennett about her abilities he sent the Haitian out to erase the memories of those that knew. Interestingly, we found out in that process that the Haitian really can talk and that her mother may be dotty simply because her mind's been erased repeatedly. But what is it that the Haitian wants Claire to remember? Maybe in the next episode we'll find out.

Mr. Bennett has dropped hints in the past that he reports to someone else, and this week that was made resoundingly clear as he had to submit to someone else's authority in the handling of Sylar (not named directly in the conversation but strongly implied). I'd like to find out more about his true employers as they were already ahead of Chandra in identifying the Heroes when Chandra first started looking. How did they know? And what are they after? They appear to have helped Isaac, Eden, Matt, and Ted. We don't know what they would have done to Nathan, and we don't know exactly what they want to do with Sylar. It's still a bit ambiguous.

Interestingly, Mr. Bennett was extremely confident that Sylar's powers were blocked while he was in that room, but Sylar was still able to pull Eden through the glass. This begs for explanation, and the best that I can come up with is that the Haitian was actually blocking Sylar's power while Mr. Bennett was there, but that no such protection was available for Eden. That still leaves the question, though, of why Eden was able to "push" Sylar outside of the school and prevent him from attacking her, but she was unable to do the same when she told him to shoot himself. We know that the Haitian was present with Eden when Sylar was captured, so perhaps he was more of a factor than Eden realized. It's just not clear.

Before Eden shot herself (presumably so that Sylar couldn't steal her power), she left Isaac with a cell phone and access card. I said before that this group of Mr. Bennett's appears to have helped Isaac and the others, but he still had to escape from the compound. Interesting. Will Mr. Bennett and the Haitian be in pursuit in the next episode, or will they just let him go? And did anyone else notice that the painting of the fiery man was prominently displayed in this episode?

As for Isaac, he's finally learned that he can use his power without the drugs. No more awkward "Just Say No" commercial spots for NBC. I liked the tie-in with Hiro's comment in the last episode about going back too far and becoming lunch for a T-Rex. Now, Hiro just has to find that sword, but I don't see how it will necessarily help him against a dinosaur. I wonder if the sword will be a family heirloom or something. It's been reported in TV Guide that George Takei (Sulu on Star Trek) is cast to play Hiro's father in an upcoming episode. So, it will be cool if part of that episode (arc?) is the passing on of a samurai sword.

Other than the escape of Isaac and his new painting, Hiro and Ando, were relegated to the back seat for most of this episode. They still get some of the best lines, though, like when Isaac calls to meet them, Hiro comments that it's Destiny calling, and Ando replies, "I wish Destiny would lose our number." That's classic!

During all of this, Peter is sitting in a holding cell while Nathan and his lawyers wrangle to get him released. Now, I think Peter is a classic good guy with a heart of gold, but the boy doesn't have all of his candles lit. This is the third episode where he's surmised that he can take on the powers of those around him, and he's still talking like he's not really sure. I think we need to see him in at a Mensa party so he can take on some intelligence and get past the whole, "Whoa, dude! I feel just like, Neo, when he found out the world wasn't real," act. He's channeling a little too much Keanu for me lately.

Of course, my predictions were correct. Nathan did come down to bail Peter out and Matt came to investigate the Sylar murder. Now, Peter, Nathan, Matt, Claire, Eden, Sylar, Hiro, Isaac, and the Haitian are in the same town. Kind of a convenient way to put them all together, but hey, it's TV. Now for another prediction: Peter will come into contact with Ted and won't be able to control the power. That's what is going to cause Peter to go nuclear. The way to stop it is for Nathan to grab him and fly him away from Ted so that he can get himself back under control. Before all of that, though, we'll need to understand more about what's going on with Peter. I loved the scene between him and Matt while they are reading each other's minds. That was pretty funny. After that scene, though, Peter started looking more and more sickly and he developed a cough. I thought that sitting with Claire might have healed him, but it didn't seem to do any good. Anyone else wondering if the drugs that Matt gave him had some kind of adverse effect on him?

Finally, Niki/Jessica shot D.L. in the shoulder. Having been shot, D.L. was warned enough to be able to allow the second shot to pass through his head. That was a pretty cool special effect. So, D.L. and Micah ran, which I'd have done in the same situation. Niki/Jessica had an argument with herself. The three of them met up again. Jessica hurled Micah into some rocks. Niki came back out and said, "Micah, it's me. Mom." Or something like that, and then they turned into the Cleavers. What a load of crap!

From D.L.'s perspective, his wife has gone completely insane. She's cracked, and her secondary personality is a homicidal maniac that not only wants him dead has actually tried to complete the task by shooting him. From Micah's perspective, his mother is nutty and sometimes she's just mean. Most recently, the mean side fooled him into taking her to D.L. by saying that she was his mother, and the next thing he knows she trying to shoot his dad again and throws him several yards into a pile of rocks. It's completely believable, then, that when Niki comes back out to play and says, "I'm your mother," that Micah is going to believe her. He's never been fooled by that before. Well, except for that time 2 minutes ago just before she tried to kill D.L., and of course, D.L. is going to believe her because the way she says those words makes him forget about the roomful of murdered criminals, the stolen money that she took, the fact that she framed him for crimes she committed, and the danger of her snapping again; she's just so hot when she says that! Guys might be simple, but give me a break. That whole storyline is getting to be pretty ridiculous, and if it weren't for the fact that she really is hot, I'd probably have already started calling for us to vote her off the island.

Now we get a nice long break for the holidays to ponder over what will come next. Until then.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Anyone else love the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles as much as I? Probably, since most of us share the same twisted sense of humor. Along those lines, though, I feel like I have now lived a few scenes from that movie.

As many of you know, Dallas received a winter storm last Thursday and Friday. At the same time, I was scheduled to fly to and from Greensboro, North Carolina. My flight on Thursday was scheduled to leave at 6:45am, so I contacted American when I woke at 4am to see if things were still on schedule. They were. After finishing my packing and getting dressed, I headed out into the weather. The storm had not arrived, by then, though, so the roads were in good shape and traffic was minimal. Yes, there's even traffic in the wee hours of a Dallas morning.

Once at the airport, I got checked-in and on the plane with no issues, but we were delayed for take-off. We were made to idle on the de-icing pad for about 45 minutes since the temperature was dropping. They didn't want us picking up any ice on takeoff as we went through the clouds. It took 45 minutes for that process, though, because once the truck finished the plane next to us, they got our left wing done and drove off. The pilot announced over the intercom that the truck had apparently run out of gas and needed to go refuel before they could finish prepping our aircraft. Needless to say, I was about an hour late landing in Greensboro, and my colleagues who flew in after me were about the same margin late as well. We were still in time for our meetings, though, so everything still worked out fine.

The next afternoon, we returned to the Greensboro airport for our return flights. We all checked-in at the same time even though my flight was about 4 hours later than my colleagues. Since there's nothing to do in Greensboro, I was just going to hang out at the airport and watch a movie or play a video game on my PSP. We had to get through the security checkpoint first, though.

I and one of my coworkers made it through with no issues. No such luck for our other travel partner. She was flagged for closer inspection, and as they started rummaging through her purse, they came across hand sanitizer. She was busted for attempting to sneak contraband past security. The germs on that plane have a right to life, and she certainly can't be allowed to bring such a dangerous weapon aboard. It could kill millions….of germs.

The TSA inspector told my coworker that she could take the sanitizer if she could put it in a Ziploc bag. It just so happened that my other coworker had such a bag that she had used to bring her own liquids and gels through security, and since we were standing right there she asked if the hand sanitizer could be in her bag. The TSA inspector said that was okay and handed the sanitizer to my coworker. The inspector never one checked to see if the gel was placed into the bag. She never once asked for the bag to be sent back through screening. She never once thought about it again, and my coworker literally just held the bottle of hand sanitizer in her hand until the inspector was done. Once everything was cleared, she just handed the sanitizer back and it went right back into the purse it had been removed from. Boy, I feel safer now that I know how easy it is get liquids and gels past security.

After all of that, my coworkers were nearly late for their flight, but they managed to get on board just in time. About 10 minutes after their plane left the gate, though, is when my story really began to unfold. An announcement was made throughout the airport for everyone already checked-in for flight xxxx to return to the American ticket counter. Since that was my flight, I headed back to the unsecured section of the airport and the ticket counter.

There were about 5 of us already at the airport and checked-in and we all stood around the counter to hear the news that our flight had just been cancelled. Then the next 45 minutes was spent working with an agent to find any flight with available seating so that we could be rerouted. It was like a bad Christmas movie, or a dull episode of "The Amazing Race." A flight was found from Raleigh, NC that was direct to DFW, but that would require driving. The pregnant lady next to me offered to drive, and I briefly considered the offer. I held out for a better deal, though.

As it turned out there were two Northwest Airlines flights leaving from Greensboro soon that could connect to DFW. One through Memphis and the other through Detroit. I asked the ticketing agent which city had the best odds of clear weather, and she said it was Detroit since Memphis was receiving snow at that very moment. My decision was made. Fly to Detroit with an hour layover then direct to DFW. I would be on the ground by 9pm and home by 10pm. Things didn't work out quite so easily, though.

My flight to Detroit was in a sardine can with four seats across. Two on either side of the aisle. I think the plane was originally designed to only have one seat on either side of the aisle, so we were all nearly sitting in each other's laps with the roof looming only an inch or so above our heads. It was cramped. It wasn't a prop plane, but it was only one step up from one. Add to that the weather that we flew through, so there was a lot of turbulence. Add to that the fact that the pilot couldn't seem to make up his mind whether he wanted to be above, below, or in the clouds. Add to that the fact that the pilot couldn't decide how fast he wanted to fly. Add to that the fact that the guy sitting next to me was trying to get home to Oak Lawn (that's where Boy George would live if he were a DFW resident) and just wanted a "hand to hold." (this request was not accommodated) And then put a screaming 2 year old right on the top. The perfect way to start my trip home.

It got better, though, as we started to descend into Detroit, I realized that we were going to be landing about an hour late, and I only had a little over an hour layover scheduled in Detroit. The flight attendant assured me that every flight in America was at least an hour late, so there would certainly not be an issue with me catching my connecting flight. The flight attendant was incorrect. We landed at gate E6 and I checked with the agent at the end of the gangway and she informed me that my connecting flight was leaving from A71, it was on time, and that I had just 10 minutes to get there. When I inquired as to the fastest way to get there, I learned that the Detroit airport does not have a tram system to connect gates and terminals quickly. She said simply, "Run."

Run I did. All the way. With my laptop in my backpack. I ran around kids, old people, up escalators, down escalators, through a tunnel, across moving sidewalks. Finally, out of breath, I arrived at A71 with less than five minutes to spare. The agent told me that they were just getting ready to close the doors and that I had made it just in time. I told her that I had left a few others behind, so she might want to wait a little bit longer.

Thankfully, this flight was 3 large seats each on either side of the aisle, and I only had one other person sitting my three section of the row. We split the seat between us and had plenty of room to stretch out. The wind, though, was horrific. During takeoff, I swear the plane yawed sideways. The pilot did a great job keeping it level, and we were soon to a smooth cruising altitude all the way to DFW.

Our landing at DFW was little later than they anticipated. I was on the ground at about 9:30pm, and then I had to wait on luggage, the tram to terminal B, and find my truck again. After all that and my drive home, it was about 10:45pm. Not as good as my original plan, but it was better than spending the night on an airplane or in an airport.

PSP – Playstation Porn-Able

Hopefully, you all know that the PSP is actually called a Playstation Portable, but apparently, it’s getting a new nickname in certain circles since it features a web browser. Once teenage boys figured that out, which I’m sure took all of about 3 seconds, it was a short hop to internet porn sites. Like home computers, PSP should be restricted from any adolescent young man for fear of him going blind. If you don’t know what that means, then you probably haven’t ever been a teenage boy, and you’ll have to email me to get an explanation.

I didn’t even realize that this was a prevalent issue until I ran across this article (http://www.nbc5i.com/technology/10421419/detail.html?rss=dfw&psp=nationalnews) today. I have a PSP, so I definitely knew that it had an internet browser. I just didn’t know about this particular issue. I’m not surprised, though, I led a small group of teenage boys for five years. The topic of discussion changed every week, but we always managed to talk about girls and sex anyway. So what makes this newsworthy? I have no idea. I only bring it up here because I caught one line that made me laugh out loud:

“A Minnesota boy got in trouble when he brought his PSP to school loaded with pictures of naked women…”

If the line stopped there, it wouldn’t be all the humorous. We’re all in agreement at this point that the boy needs to be punished, counseled, and his PSP confiscated (though we may disagree on what needs to be done with the pictures). Unfortunately, that is not where the line ends. Here it is in its entirety.

“A Minnesota boy got in trouble when he brought his PSP to school loaded with pictures of naked women he downloaded from the school’s computer.”

Wow! First this made me laugh. Then it made me start thinking of all the obvious questions that need to be asked in a situation like this. Was the boy in trouble for having the pictures on his PSP, or for taking them from the school? Was he hitting the principal’s secret porn stash? Would he have gotten in trouble if he was only looking through the school’s porn library and not stealing the porn from them? And, finally, what in the world kind of school does this kid go to that they have porn on their computers?

In the boy’s defense, he’s quoted as saying, “Once the pictures were on it, I turned it off right away after I did that.” Now, I don’t want to drag everyone into the gutter with my deranged little mind, but this is a young boy we’re talking about. Doesn’t this quote just beg the question of what exactly he’s referring to when he says, “I turned it off…”? Is he talking about the PSP or something else? Is this kid going to end up blind? Probably. And he’s likely to have carpal tunnel syndrome, too, if he doesn’t change schools soon.

Wife Killer

Some people are legendary in their ability to evade the law and get away with murder. Literally. Think about O.J. Simpson. Everyone knows he is guilty even though he got off, and now he’s publishing a book and a television interview where he can tell the world exactly how he masterminded this plan. The best part of which I’m not even sure he could foresee. He’s getting paid millions to confess to a crime that he can’t be prosecuted for. Ain’t America great?

While I’d have to give O.J. an A+ in criminal studies for pulling this stunt off, there are plenty of other C- students of villainy out there. Notably, a man in Allen, right here in my neck of the woods, who reportedly hired a hit man to kill his pregnant wife. For the full details of the article click here, and for my commentary just keep reading.

So, this guy hires a hit man to kill his pregnant wife. Aside from trying to figure out what kind of person would be both heartless enough to kill a pregnant woman and brave enough to try, let’s just examine the kind of person that was hired. According to the news report, the wife found the hit man in her bedroom, and he did not try to kill her. We don’t know why. We just know that he didn’t. Apparently, he explained to the woman that her husband had hired him and that he just came over to warn her. Think about that for a sec.

If you’re a hit man with a heart do you take the job and then tell your intended target that you took the job? Apparently, he’s even cooperating with police. I’m sure that when they get done with this investigation, though, they’ll be asking, “So what made this guy think to hire you? What else have you done that we haven’t caught you for?” Every good hit man wants to be right in the middle of the police’s radar screen. Where did this guy learn to be a crook?

And let’s not forget that this hit man with a heart was discovered in her bedroom. Why did he have to add breaking and entering to the list of crimes he was going to admit to? Why not just call her on the phone? Knock on the door? Hire a sky writer? Anything besides committing yet another crime. Of course, I suppose that you could say it wasn’t breaking and entering since the husband left the door unlocked before he headed to New Mexico. That’s essentially an invitation for the man to enter the house, but why didn’t the wife lock the door? My wife checks every door and window in the house twice a day or more when I’m out of town, and she’s not even pregnant.

So, now we’ve got a guy that breaks into a lady’s bedroom, claims he was paid by her husband to kill her, claims that he only took the job so that no one else (presumably someone that would actually kill her) could, and intends to cooperate fully with police. But what about the guy that hired him? He fled to New Mexico.

What in the world is in New Mexico? Did he run out of money after he put out the hit on his wife? Is this guy so stupid that not only can he not hire a competent hit man, but he also can’t flee to somewhere with no extradition treaty? Forget extradition treaty. He can’t even get out of the country? I hear the real Mexico is a straight line south from Dallas. A few pesos to the local police and you could disappear there for a while. At least until Dog the Bounty Hunter gets of Mexican jail and hunts your butt down. No, this guy ran to New Mexico. I wouldn’t be surprised if he were at his mother’s house telling her all about his grand plan. Idiot.

Am I the only guy in America that has ever seen an episode of “Without a Trace,” “CSI: [insert city here],” “Law & Order: [insert subtitle here],” “Matlock,” “Cold Case,” etc.? Everybody knows the first person they are coming after is the spouse whether the hit man blames him or not, and God forbid you left semen anywhere. Ever. Those crime lab guys get a hold of that or a pubic hair and they can link you to the last major extinction of dinosaurs. “I got a pube. Let’s do a computer model. The killer is obviously 5’7” about 185 lbs. and speaks with a lisp. He was wearing a red t-shirt and flip flops and he didn’t brush his teeth. Let’s put out an APB.” It’s crazy what kind of info they can get from that stuff.

The best, though, in this whole story, is the neighbor. First she says of the wife, “She was just so full of life…” Does this neighbor not realize that the wife lived? The hit man sucks and her husband is a moron. The wife is full of life. Then she says, “…[I] can’t imagine…how she got out of there.” Is this lady in the same story I’m reading? I think it was pretty easy. After the hit man got done calling the police on himself, she just walked right out the front door.

Six Months Ago

I wasn’t really impressed by this episode, but I did enjoy a few moments. Read below for my thoughts:

We finally got to meet Sylar, and it seems that IMDB.com was incorrect. Several weeks ago, they had listed that Sean Bean was cast to play Paul Sylar, and of course, last night we learned that the actual actor in that role is Zach Quinto. If he looks familiar, then you probably saw him on 24. Here’s the deal, though, what is Sylar’s real power? It seemed like he consumed the telekinetic power of the guy he killed. Is that what happened? And did he really see something “wrong” with that guy? Is that why he’s after Charlie (the waitress)? Is it because she’s sick? So many questions.

Apparently, Mr. Bennett has been looking for heroes longer than Chandra has known that they are around, too, which is really pretty interesting. Who does Mr. Bennett work for? I don’t think that he’s working on his own. Also, do you think that the Haitian’s power is what protected Mr. Bennett from Eden’s powers? Which, by the way, got her a pretty sweet ride.
Matt’s storyline was pretty lame. He just ended up eating donuts and failing the detective’s exam. Big deal.

Claire’s story was somewhat interesting. She first discovered that something might be amiss with her healing abilities, but she didn’t seem really curious yet.

The Niki/Jessica plot was goofy. She comes across more now as a split personality psycho rather than a hero, and why couldn’t we see D.L. learn about his power or Micah discover his. Why was Micah taking that computer apart in the first place, and why did Niki’s dad leave when he saw it? Was he just too tempted to beat Micah to death right there? That scene just wasn’t very well performed.

Nathan and Peter were somewhat interesting. Nathan because he seemed to fly; I say seemed to because it was all in Peter’s dream. Which makes this the second time that Peter has had a prophetic dream. Well, I guess technically, it’s the first time that we know of when you look at it from a correct timeline perspective, but either way, he’s done it twice now that we know of. Is this a secondary power of Peter’s? And assuming that Nathan really flew, don’t you think that his wife wonders where he went when he just disappeared from the driver’s seat? And why did their father’s death change their minds about going after Linderman? They were are all ready to lay it down and “stab their father in the back” as they said, and then they found out he died, and now Nathan is getting in bed with the guy. I really don’t understand what changed there. Were they scared that he would come after them or their mother next?

Finally, Hiro and Ando are back together again. Unfortunately, he can’t save Charlie no matter how he tries, but he doesn’t tell us if it continues to fail to save her from Sylar or if he continues to fail to save her from her aneurysm. At least he’s back with Ando, though, and they can now move on to find Peter, Claire, and the others. And again, I’m not even going to open the door to all the questions of continuity that are brought about by the time travel. I will, however, tell you that I wonder why Hiro couldn’t “jump” from the roof of his office building in Japan? Does he have to “recharge” after a while? Or was his concentration broken at that point? What was the deal?

I welcome your thoughts.

Can We Keep It?

After Lucky died, Abbie presented a hypothetical situation to Leah. She wondered whether we could keep a stray dog if we happened to find one. Leah responded that we would only do that if the dog didn’t have a collar, and we could not find its owner. This turns out to be similar to the time that I told the kids they could have a rabbit if they could catch it. That was a big mistake because my next conversation was about how the cotton tail rabbit they caught would die if we kept it in a cage, and wouldn’t you know that they also managed to find a dog with no collar.

We arrived at Mother’s Wednesday evening after a very long drive in thick traffic, and we were tired and ready for a rest. About ten minutes after we got there, though, Abbie came bounding through the door, “Guess what! Guess what! I found a dog without a collar! Can we keep it?” Apparently, a stray beagle had been hanging around Mother’s for the past few weeks, and Mother didn’t want the children to encourage it too much because she didn’t want the dog to think it lived there. The kids did encourage it, though.

They fed it. They watered it. They chased it around the yard for the four days that we were there, and they managed to get me to put it in the van when we left yesterday. They named the dog Dixie, and she now lives at our house. So far, she’s been a great dog. She’s really quiet, and the kids love her. We still need to get her checked out by the vet to make sure that there are not any major issues, but I think we may have a new pet.

Homecoming

It didn’t quite live up to the hype, but who really expected it to? Television advertisements and previews tend to be so misleading that I hardly ever pay much attention to them. So, I was not surprised that we never really found out what “Save cheerleader. Save the world,” is really all about despite all the ads that promised that revelation. Regardless, the episode was still pretty solid. Highlight below to see my comments and thoughts:

The boy in Mohinder’s dreams is supposed to be a spirit guide of some sort. What does that mean? I guess it means that he can communicate with the dead rather than that he’s met Sylar. I suppose that’s good on one hand, but on the other it seems a little cheesy to me. And his dialog was rather stilted. I’m happy that Mohinder found the list and that he’s getting back in the game; I just wish that they hadn’t made it such a corny set of events to get him there.

Of course, I also wonder about the man that was trying to talk Mohinder out of seeing the boy. Why is he so bent on keeping Mohinder from continuing his father’s research? Based on the dream sequence that Mohinder had near the end of the episode, his dad saw the same boy and had the same conversations with the same man. If I were that man, I would start to think that either both father and son have the same genetic anomaly that’s making them crazy, or that there really is a boy out there that can enter people’s dreams. On one hand, I’m seeking medical attention for them, and on the other, I’m trying to help. Why is he not doing either?

We know now, for sure, that Micah knows about Jessica. Previously, we got that impression, but this week he actually called her by name. Interesting. He even convinced D.L. to go back to help her. I wonder if they’ll ever make it. The final scene implied that Jessica actually shot D.L.

The meat of the episode was wrapped up in Claire’s story, though. We saw that Nathan really was lying to Peter about the painting and that he had actually purchased it from Mr. Linderman. Apparently, Nathan is protecting Peter, though, by not showing him the painting. I’m still not sure that Nathan is really a good guy. Of course, Simone came through and showed Peter the painting, or at least the digital photo of it since Nathan ruined the original, and Peter set off to save Claire.

I thought it was pretty interesting that Sylar didn’t know for sure who had powers and that he actually killed the wrong cheerleader. That tells me that he doesn’t have any kind of super-hero radar, he’s just working from a list. Probably the same list that Chandra generated and that Mohinder stumbled onto at the end of the episode. I really hoped that Peter would use Sylar’s powers against him, but I guess Peter’s not ready for that yet. I did think that it was cool that Peter got to use Claire’s power to heal himself, though.

Sylar seemed to get away, though, until he ran into Eden and the Haitian in the woods. Which, by the way, don’t really exist in Odessa, TX. It was pretty cool to see Eden use her power, and now, Mr. Bennett has Sylar. Can he keep him, though? It should be interesting.

Nathan will probably have to fly out there to bail Peter out of jail, and Hiro is already there. Of course, Matt will come out to investigate the murder that fits Sylar’s M.O., and he’ll figure out that Peter is like him. I can see them really starting to come together in the next couple of episodes.

I noticed a couple of other little items, too. One, a Battlestar Galactica t-shirt. It has nothing to do with the show, just kind of fun product placement and a free ad for NBC’s SciFi channel series. By the way, if you are not watching BSG, you are missing out on the best series on television. Heroes is nothing by comparison. Two, the new painting from Isaac. In the brief glimpse that we got, it appears to be a man on fire, but not on fire like he’s being consumed, more like he’s a human torch. This could be a hero that we haven’t met yet, but I’m guessing right now that it’s Ted (nuclear man).

Let me know what you thought.

How Many Teachers Does it Take to Navigate Houston?

Apparently, none. Just call an Aggie.

Here’s the story as best as I can tell from my experience. Caci was invited (or required) to attend a teacher’s conference in Houston this weekend, and she was set to stay at the InterContinental Hotel in Houston. Driving with a fellow teacher, she headed south armed with a gritty determination and directions from Aunt Patti. Let me be really clear here, I never saw the directions from Aunt Patti, and they were not ever read to me over the phone, so I can’t speak intelligently about the quality of that manuscript. I can speak from my own experience, though, and say that I’ve never gotten lost following Aunt Patti’s directions, so my assumption must be that they were correct, complete, and valid. UPDATE: I just got a call from Caci, as I am working on this post, and she informed me that the real issue was not with directions written by Aunt Patti, but that they were following Aunt Patti and got separated. Caci went the right way and Aunt Patti went the wrong way. That seems a little suspicious to me, but you judge for yourself after you read the events of this past Friday.

Once in Houston, a dilemma quickly became apparent. The directions indicated that Caci should take Exit 9A from I-610 South, but Caci was on I-610 East. “What to do? Turn around? Well, that would just put us on I-610 West,” reasoned Caci, “and I remember from that geography class I taught my kids once that East and West are not the same as North and South. Or was it that North and South are not the same as East and West? I get so confused with directions. I need a better solution.” After quickly conferring with the passengers, they agreed that reinforcements needed to be called in, so avoiding the gaze of any police officers, the cell phone was dialed.

Ring…Ring...Okay, my phone was actually on vibrate, so it was more like…bzzz…bzzz….oohh….bzzz…bzzz….ahhh….bzzzz….bzzzzz….mmmm……Ahem. Sorry. I hope there are no kids reading this.

Seriously, Leah answered the phone as I was in the other room getting ready to go shopping: my favorite thing to do on my Friday off. Caci was calling to find out if I knew where Exit 9A off of I-610 South was located. Since I was not able to talk at the time, Leah offered to get on the computer and try to guide Caci by reading the map for her. Now, please remember that I love my wife dearly. She’s the mother of my children, and the best wife in the world. She’s always trying to help people in need, and I think that’s an awesome attribute. She can’t read a map to save her life, though. Seriously, you might as well ask her to try and cook using a recipe written in hieroglyphics. You’d probably get boiled pig turds or something, and when you ask her to read a map for you, you end up in the wrong country. The only way that she can figure out where to go, is to put the map on the ground and stand on it. “Get in the map,” as she says, and that’s pretty hard to do with a computer screen. Leah knows this about herself, but she’s just so keen on trying to help, that she had to give it a try.

Thankfully, I finished getting dressed quickly, and made it upstairs before any real damage had been done. By now, the teacher-mobile was headed South on I-610, and they were really getting confused. How can I-610 East be the same road as I-610 South? They hadn’t yet made the connection that, like most major cities in America, a three-digit interstate is really just a loop (or half-loop in some cases): I-220 in Shreveport, I-635 in Dallas, I-610 in Houston. I was on the case, though, and I found San Felipe (the road they were supposed to exit on), pretty quickly. If they had gone west instead of east when they first exited I-610, they’d be at the hotel already. “So, should we turn around?” Caci queried.

I assured them, that if they stayed on their current path, they would soon be on I-610 West and then I-610 North. Caci asked several times, just to be sure, if she needed to get on a different road for all of that happen, and I guaranteed, through the passenger that was actually dialoging with me, that the road would curve on its own. Soon, the road curved to the west, and then to the north again. Yes, I was on the phone with them this whole time. Then finally, the hotel was visible on the left, and Caci let me go. Later, I called to ensure that she had actually found her way to the hotel and she happily shared that she was already in her room. Whew! I guess sometimes it pays to call an Aggie.

Speaking of paying to call an Aggie, what do you do when you’re a math teacher that can’t figure out a math problem? Of course, you call an Aggie, and this is the second year in a row that I’ve been called on this particular math problem, so I’ll post here for all to enjoy:

You buy a horse for $60.
You sell the horse for $70.
You buy the horse back for $80.
You sell the horse again for $90.
Did you make or lose money? How much?

Interestingly, the correct answer to this problem is not shared at the conference. I guess that makes it more challenging for the teachers if they don’t know for sure that they are doing math correctly, but after hearing the responses of the other teachers in the room, I want Caci to provide me a list of their names because none of them are allowed to teach my kids math. Everyone needs a challenge in life, but it shouldn’t be learning math from someone who can’t add. Thankfully, Caci agreed with my answer for the second year in a row, so I must be right, but I guess we’ll never know for sure.

Now, Caci is headed home, after another phone call to me. You read above how she called right in the middle of me writing this. Yep, she needed directions to get home. I told her to just go back I-610 North from the hotel and then get on whichever highway she took to get to Houston. The only problem with that plan is that she doesn’t know which highway she used to get to Houston in the first place. An educated guess is that it was Highway 59, so she’s headed north on 59 right now. Hopefully, she makes it home okay, but I’m keeping the phone close all day just in case.

Seven Minutes to Midnight

Never mind that the episode was filmed weeks before it aired. Never mind that no one with any real influence over the show reads my blog. I still want to believe that our weekly discussion had some influence over the exciting turn of events in last night’s episode. As if in response to my protestations of the show starting to get ho-hum, there was so much packed into Chapter 8, that I probably won’t even be able to cover it all, but you all know that I’ll give it a try anyway. As always, highlight below to read:

This episode deals a lot with Mohinder back in India trying to resolve himself against his father’s work and settle back into a “normal” life. The only problem is that he starts having weird dreams about his dad. He witnesses an argument between his father and himself over his father’s work, and he witnesses a discussion between his mother and father over his father’s move to the U.S. Shortly after a strange boy appears in the dream and is apparently aware of Mohinder’s presence. Interestingly, when Mohinder questions his mother about her discussion with Chandra, she confirms that it really happened. She doesn’t, however, seem to think it’s odd that Mohinder would have seen it in a dream, and she doesn’t seem to question the level of detail he has about the discussion. I guess Chandra had her convinced, or maybe she knows about the kid.

So, who is that kid anyway? At first, it seemed that Mohinder may have been using some power of his own that he didn’t know about, but after witnessing his father’s murder in the presence of the kid, receiving a key from the kid, and finding the kid’s file hidden in his father’s desk, it seems more likely that the kid is the one with powers. He seems to be calling for Mohinder. Maybe he’s like Professor X and can communicate with his mind over large distances, but that doesn’t really cover it all either. How did the kid know about the scenes he showed Mohinder? Surely he wasn’t actually present either. So, he drew the discussion from Chandra’s mind during one of their conversations (when Chandra was creating a file on him), but what about the scene of Chandra’s death? Was he telepathically linked with Chandra when he died? Or has this boy gleaned the information from Sylar himself? Or can the kid also speak to the dead? I hope it’s not the last option as that would be kind of hokey.

Next up, everyone’s favorite, or at least my favorite: Hiro. The waitress that they met this week was pretty cool, and she seemed to really like Hiro. Sylar, though, was already after her. When Hiro went back in time, he changed some things, but he still didn’t save her. How do I know? Well, mainly because Ando and the police are still at the diner investigating the murder even with the new Polaroid of Hiro and the waitress on the wall. Let’s don’t even get started on time travel paradigms, though, we’ll just leave it at the fact that he definitely went back and met her and something is going to be different now.

We’ve got another clue into Sylar’s identity now, too. The cracked watch. We saw it in the diner, and we saw it in the taxi cab. Now, unless Sylar is working for Mr. Bennett, then we also know that Mr. Bennett did not kill Chandra as Mohinder believed. I’m going to have to say it again. I’m not convinced that Mr. Bennett is a bad guy.

While we’re on the subject, let’s look at it again with this week in mind. Mr. Bennett’s claim that he’s there to help seems true enough. We saw him with Matt, and Matt’s abilities were heightened after the visit. Ted Sprague (nuclear man) claims to have been abducted by the Haitian that works with Mr. Bennett and his powers were heightened afterward. Isaac is currently with Mr. Bennett and they are supposedly working to teach Isaac how to paint without the drugs. He hasn’t Claire, he’s only ever protected her, and he went ahead and told Isaac that Sylar is out to kill Claire and that he needs Isaac’s help to protect her. If he’s a bad guy, then what is his motivation? Why would he have helped the others powers work better? Why would he have told Isaac about Sylar? Why would he have saved Claire when her parents died?

How about the mark on the necks of Matt and Ted. Did Mr. Bennett and the Haitian hand those out or did they come from somewhere else? And why doesn’t that mark match with the symbol that Jessica (Friki) has on her shoulder?

Who else was interested to learn that Eden has a power? Apparently, she’s a pusher. She can make people do things. Seems likely that that’s how she got Isaac to agree to go with her and bring along his paintings, and how she got him to agree to take the drugs so that he could paint. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if he really just took a placebo so that they can show him that he doesn’t really need the drugs. Maybe he just thinks he took heroin, and that relaxed his mind enough to let his power work.

Did anyone else notice that one of Isaac’s paintings was of an Escalade on fire, and that when Ted escaped it was by blowing up an Escalade? It’s probably just a minor detail and not of much importance, but I did pick up on it. So far it seems that almost all of Isaac’s paintings have not dealt with the future in general but rather with the specific futures of the heroes.

Until next week. Let’s hear your thoughts.

I Need to Vent

I don’t know how many of you have flown recently, but I have, and I can tell you that it’s a pain in the rear to get through “security.” I put that in quotes because it seems more and more obvious to me that the system is less about security and more about business than many people realize.

For example, we have to present a photo ID to get through the security checkpoint. This is supposedly to check for passengers that are on the “no-fly” list. After just a little research, though, you’ll find that it’s really because the airlines wanted to shut-down the market for reselling tickets and the only way to do that is to make sure that your name is the same as the one on the ticket/boarding pass.

And how about liquids and gels? It’s just ridiculous the rules that are in place over this, and every halfway intelligent human being knows that the driver behind this can’t really be security. It doesn’t even make good sense to think that it’s about security when I can take a completely full three ounce bottle of gel through security but I can’t take a virtually empty four ounce bottle through. There’s no real evidence to support this that I’ve seen, but I would still argue that the driver behind this is getting more checked bags. Why would the airline want more checked bags? That seems like it would cost them more as they have to pay for people to handle those bags. On the other hand, I’ve recently seen some data from DFW that would indicate that a big factor in paying overtime is the timeliness of flights. How much more timely does it make a plane when you don’t have to wait for 200 people to stuff and cram their bags into an overhead bin?

The thing that really takes the cake about all of this is the recent reports of the FBI seizing Christopher Soghoian’s computer and other belongings (rumor has it that he had some hair gel and toothpaste that were over the legal limit). You might not have read about Mr. Soghoian, but he created a website that allowed users to print fake boarding passes for Northwest airlines with any name and any flight printed on them. Now, I don’t agree with Mr. Soghoian’s method of getting the word out, but this guy is really exposing a fatal flaw in the design of our computer system.

And don’t say that the issue is allowing passengers to print boarding passes from home. That’s a value add that helps both the passenger and the airline. Unlike other concerns, I’m sure that we can resolve this without having to restrict customers more than they already are.
When you go through the initial security checkpoint, all that is looked at is the name on your ID and on your boarding pass, and when you get on the plane all that is scanned in the boarding pass which compares the pass to the information in the computer. So basically, there are three places that information is stored but they are never all checked against one another. Many others have written on this as well, and we all agree that in our current world it would be very easy to get through security with a fake boarding pass and then get on the plane with a real boarding pass that’s in someone else’s name. There goes the whole point of the “no-fly” list.

Terrorists still fly wherever they want, whenever they want, they just don’t buy tickets in their own name and no one checks. I think the solution is pretty simple, though. Why not just have the security inspector visually check your ID just as they do now and then have them also scan the boarding pass? Suddenly, the security flaw disappears, Mr. Soghoian has to find a new hobby, and terrorists have to stay on the ground.

Why are we after Mr. Soghoian and essentially shooting the messenger instead of fixing this problem?

Same Old Same Old

NBC finally seemed to be pulling out of a slump with one of the highest rated dramas on television: "Heroes." I'm afraid that it might not last, though. I know that we've all enjoyed discussing the nuances of the show since the pilot, and I do want to discuss some more of that later in that post. First, though, in the vain hope that someone who might know someone who might have seen someone that might have a little influence over the show will read this blog I want to say ENOUGH ALREADY!

We get it that there are people out there with special powers. We get it that they got them suddenly. We get it that they don't totally understand how to use them yet. We get it that there are people out there that seem to know more about these Heroes than they know about themselves. We get it that there may be more of them than we've already met. What we don't get is why that's all we see week after week. Surely I'm not the only viewer out there that's tired of this story not moving along.

It seemed, at first, like things were moving along rapidly. We met new characters every week. They had new powers. We saw interesting intersections in their lives. That was the first four. These last three, on the other hand, did not really contribute anything of substance to furthering the story. I haven't even had that much to write about on this blog lately for lack of new revelations to discuss. It's almost like the writers haven't figured out where the show is going, and they are stalling until they do.

That doesn't mean that I don't have any thoughts about last night's episode, though. I'll just have to dig deep to find hidden meaning, so hang on for a wild ride through my mind:

Peter was dreaming about a conversation with Mr. Devereaux and at the end he flew by himself. Peter knows that he can't fly alone, so I wondered about the scene briefly before I realized that it was a dream. Or was it? Later in the episode Simone visited and told Peter that her dad had died and that he had spoken of Peter just beforehand. It sounded like the conversation her dad recounted was taken from Peter's dream. So was Peter communicating with Mr. Deveraux telepathically? If so, the implication is huge. Peter's power is to mimic those around him. Obviously, the real question here is who has telepathic powers and was near Peter while he slept? Was it Mr. Bennett's assistant? Was it someone else?

Micah apparently has the ability to repair electronics, but it appears that the repairs only work for him. Or maybe the extent of the repair is something he can control. This explains how he repaired his computer in the first episode, though. He's not a child genius, he just touched it and made it work. It was interesting, though, that Micah responded to Jessica (Friki as we call her) as if to say, "Lady, we've been around this block before, and I know all about you. Get my mom on the phone!"

Niki must have some kind of power besides super strength when Jessica appears to have survived D.L. "scrambled insides" move. That or the writers have the wrong idea about the average IQ of their viewers. If whatever he did hurt her badly enough to make her pass out, then there must have been some kind of damage.

Claire's secret is out now, so what is her brother going to do with the knowledge? I imagine that he'll let something slip and Mr. Bennett will then be forced to do something about it. Of course, I still am not convinced that Mr. Bennett is evil. When you look at his character across all of the episodes, you've never seen him do anything that necessarily wrong or bad. Perhaps he's duplicitous, but I still think that he may just be interested in protecting Claire. Or perhaps in protecting all of them.

Radioactive man was a nice touch this week. It reminded us that there may be others that we don't know about and that they could be good or evil. Of course, when he told Matt not to shoot because he might explode, it got me to wondering if he's the actual cause of the nuclear explosion that they are trying to prevent. Maybe he gets transferred to New York for one reason or another and then Sylar attacks him and BOOM! Anybody else thinking that?

Also, how about the little intersection with D.L., Ando, and Hiro. I thought that was nice, and I loved Hiro's line about wishing he had super strength, too. Along those same lines, I have to agree with Nathan's observation that being able to fly isn't really all that useful as a super power. I mean, let's look at all the characters and their abilities:

Isaac – Precognition. Pretty useful if he could get off the smack. It would always be nice to know what's going to happen.

Niki – Super strength when Jessica is around. Pretty handy stuff. It made her a millionaire.

D.L. – Phasing. The guy can walk through walls. You could do all kinds of good with that.

Matt – Telepathy. What detective wouldn't want that ability? It's almost as good as seeing the future.

Peter – Mimicry. Or whatever you want to call it. Pretty cool and useful to be able to do anyone else's super power. And he even better if he finds out that he can combine them.

Hiro – Bend space and time. We've already seen lots of uses for this and he's already saved several people.

Micah – Electronics. Can he just make it work, or can he also control it. Either way I could see lots of applications where you could save people.

Claire – Regeneration. If you couldn't get hurt, what would you do to help people?

Nathan – Flight. So he can make a quick getaway, but what else good does it do? Without super strength he's not helping aircraft that are in trouble.

More on Nathan, though. Why did he lie to Peter about the painting? It sure seemed like Mr. Linderman was willing to let him at least see the painting, but he told Peter that there was no way. Hmmm…what's Nathan hiding? He's always made me a little nervous, but this seems downright dirty. Does he plan to keep the painting for himself? Does he know why Peter wants to see it? Does he know more than he's letting on?

Lot's of questions and not many more answers. Until next week!

School Buses are Unsafe?

As you know, I’m always on the lookout for interesting news articles to comment on, and today I found a good one (http://www.livescience.com/healthday/535932.html). Apparently, school buses are unsafe. I don’t know how my high school bus driver escaped scrutiny this long, but apparently, she and the crazy driver Jeffrey had his first year at Youree Middle School have been found out. Of course, it wasn’t even just the driver. It was the whole environment. They should have just asked me about this a long time ago, and it would have saved tons of time and money.

I’ve got a scar on the palm of my right hand from the school bus I rode on in Kindergarten. Who knew it wasn’t smart to hold yourself up between the seats and swing back and forth? Those darn seat springs just won’t stay behind that leather.

I remember when Mother drove a school bus and all the windows got shot out by a neighborhood kid with a BB gun. And it was cold the next morning. Not only did we have to dodge broken glass fragments, but think of all the germs from the runny noses.

I remember school bus “surfing” in high school. And it was the driver’s idea.

I remember being in a wreck in the school bus in high school. Never mind that it was the other guy’s fault. He rear ended us (it was more like parked under the rear end), didn’t have a driver’s license, and told the police that he couldn’t see us stopped at the red light. Okay, that was really more funny that dangerous, but it could have been a close call. And when it was all done, our driver still insisted on completing every last stop on the way to school, like some idiot kid would really sit out on the corner for 2.5 hours waiting on the bus. Needless to say, we didn’t pick anyone else up that day.

I remember a guy on the bus next to us getting shot one day. Of course, that guy went to Byrd, and it wasn’t on our bus, but it was definitely dangerous.

And I remember that first day Jeffrey was going to Youree Drive Middle School, and his bus driver was determined to get to Napoleon (the name of our street, which she pronounced napp-OH-lee-uhn) faster than anyone else. I don’t know who she was racing, but she hit at least 65 in the short block and a half distance from the corner to the bus stop. I really wasn’t sure I’d ever see my brother again, so I tipped the driver and said, “Light the fires, and kick the tires! Go, baby!” He came back later that day. Oh, well, it’s all good. He’s much more fun to have around now that he’s older.

So, you can see that this business about school buses being unsafe is not news to me, but let’s get back to the actual scientific study that validates my experiences. Apparently, there are roughly 17,000 children and teens that head to hospital emergency rooms each year because of injuries suffered while riding on or getting off of a school bus. Of course, my first thought was that I needed more information to really evaluate the situation.

How many kids actually ride school buses every year? Seventeen thousand seems like a really large number, but not if there are 20 billion kids on school buses. It turns out that there are 23.5 million kids on school buses each year according to the same article. They don’t do this simple math in the article, but that means that your child has a 0.07% chance of being injured on a school bus. Conversely, school buses are 99.93% safe. In round numbers, that’s one in a thousand odds. In spite of my experience, it seems like this article doesn’t really support its own theory.

Before we get too down on this article, though, there might be some useful information. The most interesting thing to me is that they say that the kids were treated in 99 different emergency rooms. I just did a quick Google search and found that there are 2,797 “emergency” rooms listed in the Dallas area alone. So, really, the critical piece of information missing in this article becomes, which specific school district has such a hard time keeping their kids safe on the bus? Is it mine? Is it yours?

Of course, they don’t say.

Trick or Treat

We took the kids out last night to gather sweets and goodies from the neighbors. What fun!

Leah went to the store earlier in the day and found our capitalist economy to be hard at work. Bags of candy that had been $2-3 a week before were now $5-6. She opted to not purchase any candy and reasoned that since we’d all be out, it wouldn’t matter. I had a better plan.

You might not think this was a good idea, and you should know that Leah didn’t agree at first, but I convinced her to let us give it a try. I figured that most of the candy the kids got from our neighbors wasn’t going to be eaten by my children anyway. So I reasoned that if we went out early and filled our bags, then when we got home we could let our kids pass out candy to the kids that got a later start. Leah thought that seemed kind of cheap to make the kids give away the candy that they had just gone out to collect, but she was missing two critical pieces of information:

1. She wasn’t there last year when it was too cold to go out, and the girls had the best time just answering the door and passing out candy.

2. She wasn’t thinking about the licorice, taffy, cheese crackers (seriously, we got cheese crackers at one house), mounds, and almond joys that our kids didn’t want in the first place.

So, we headed out a little after six with some friends of ours and some neighbors to collect as much candy as possible. There were probably ten kids in our group and after an hour or so they were all tired of walking. Thankfully, Leah had thought ahead and brought the wagon for the littlest ones. Reagan had the brilliant idea at that point of all the kids going back to our living room to have candy swap; she didn’t know my plan yet, but it was starting to come together.

After we arrived back at the house, the kids all gathered in a big circle in the living room and started going through their haul. Reagan was like a little auctioneer moving from person to person helping to facilitate trades. One snickers for two lollipops; two tootsie rolls for a bag of M&Ms. It was hilarious.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and all of the kids looked at me. I told them to answer the door, and they asked where the candy to hand out was. I just told them to figure something out. They all looked at each other and piled their rejects into a top hat (part of the Willy Wonka costume that one of them wore). They answered the door and realized the genius of my idea.

From that point on, they were ambitious about inviting kids to the door so that they could pass out candy. Of course, I told them to make sure to mix in a few good things every once in a while so we didn’t the reputation of being the “crappy candy” house, and when it was all over, we had less than half of our original haul left. Just enough to keep the kids happy for a while, and more than enough to make Mom and Dad happy.

Leah finally had to admit that it was a brilliant idea and that it had worked flawlessly. Next year, I think I’ll run for political office. If I can work kids so easily, adults wouldn’t even be a challenge!

Overanalyzing Television Shows

Do you think it’s possible that we’re overanalyzing Heroes? I thought it might be for a brief moment earlier today, but then I decided that it’s just too good of a show to not continue our discussions. As usual, highlight below to read:

Does anyone else wonder if there is a hidden meaning in the name of Mohinder’s neighbor? Of course not, because none of you know her name. Knowing my audience, you may not even know who I’m talking about, so let me break it down for you, Caci. She’s the short-haired, skinny girl that’s been spying on the tall Indian guy and making everyone wonder what she’s really up to. Anyway, her name is Eden. Kind of makes you wonder if she’s the starting point. Patient Zero as Mohinder’s dad referred to it.

Also, Niki appears to be the one with the Incredible Hulk style powers. Apparently, she has super strength when her alter ego comes out. Did you see the way she just threw D.L. across the room like he was a bag of potato chips? I wonder if she’s dead, though. After D.L. reached in and scrambled things around, who knows? Obviously, I guess that she’ll continue to be around since Ali Larter is listed as a main cast member.

In looking at IMDB earlier to verify Eden’s name, I came across something interesting. Apparently, Sylar will be played by Sean Bean. For those who don’t recognize the name perhaps you’ll remember him as Boromir in LOTR, the pilot in Flightplan, the husband in Silent Hill, the bad guy in National Treasure, or the doctor in The Island. If you don’t know him from any of those, then just trust me that he’s a great actor and should make a very well done bad guy. Oh, and they list Sylar as the surname. Apparently, his full name is Paul Sylar, so we’ll have to keep an ear out for anyone named Paul to appear in the show.

Lastly, I really liked it that they made a point to bring everyone’s attention to the mysterious symbol last night. Those of you that may not have noticed it before should have picked up on it last night as Isaac uncovered it in one of his paintings of Niki. Now we just need to figure out what it means.

That’s all for now. Let me hear your thoughts and observations.

Lucky's Bad Day

Friday afternoon, Leah let Lucky out into the back to do his business just like any other day. When she got ready to bring him back inside, though, he wasn’t in the yard. Apparently, he figured out how to open the gate on his own and escape. They looked and could not find him, and when I got home we all looked and could not find him.

We left the gate open figuring that if wasn’t picked up by the pound that he would come home on his own, but when I checked early Saturday morning, he was still not around. It was just after that that the phone started ringing. It was the vet. Before she answered the phone, Leah figured that the pound must have him, and they were just calling to let us know. That’s not exactly the case.

A couple several miles from our house had called the vet’s number off of Lucky’s collar to inform them that he had been hit by a car and had died during the night. The kids were not up yet, so I went ahead and got dressed to go and handle the situation. Now, here’s the funny part of this sad story: I needed to figure out where this couple lives.

I called the number that the vet gave me for the couple, and a gentleman answered the phone (to give you a good context, I did meet this guy, and he was about 55). I introduced myself and told him why I was calling. I told him that I wanted to come by and pick up Lucky, and I needed to know where he was. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, this is Michael Newman. I got a call from the vet a few minutes ago, and they told me that our dog died last night and is in your yard.

Gentleman: That’s right. He got hit by a car last night.

Me: Well, I’d like to come by and pick up his body. Can you tell me where you are?

Gentleman: Sure. I’m at home.

Me: Okay. Can you give me your address?

Gentleman: Yeah. It’s xxxx Elm Grove.

Me: That’s not really helping me much. I’m in Woodbridge near Sachse Rd. and Miles Rd. Could you give me directions from there?

Gentleman: Oh. Is that the four-way stop?

Me: No. The four-way stop is at Miller Rd, but can you just give me directions from there?

Gentleman: Not really. I don’t know the way from there.

Me: Okay. Are there any other major roads near you?

Gentleman: Well, you know, there’s that winding, hilly road that Elm Grove dead ends into, and I’m just across the street from the new dump.

Me: The new dump? I know about the Hinton Landfill. Is that what you’re talking about?

Gentleman: I don’t know the name of it.

Me: Hmmm….tell you what. I’m going to get on the computer and see if I can get a map to your house. Can you give me your full address?

Gentleman: Yeah. It’s xxxx Elm Grove.

Me: Is that in Sachse, Wylie, Rowlett, Rockwall? What city?

Gentleman: Oh. Well, Sachse is down a couple of houses to my right, and Rowlett is a couple of houses to my left. I don’t reckon I live in a city.

Me: Tell you what. Let me do a little investigating and see if I can find you.

I really didn’t make that up. I got on Google maps and found the Hinton Landfill on the assumption that that is what he was talking about. I managed to find Elm Grove Road, and I managed to find his house. I picked Lucky up, took care of his body, and brought his collar home for Abbie. The kids were pretty sad on Saturday and they’ve already started asking if we are going to get another dog. Leah and I are agreed to wait a little while before we get back into that boat.

ABBA Reborn

Who says that I don’t do Karaoke? They should probably say that I shouldn’t do Karaoke.

We had a Karaoke contest at the office, and I didn’t intend to perform. When I was asked by our President to join her in singing ABBA’s “Waterloo,” though, I just couldn’t refuse. Of course, she did play the, “you do all kinds of crazy things for the kids at your church,” card. So, there I was on Friday morning. All decked out in the outfit she chose for me and ready to sing. I’ve opted to not post pictures of the rest of my group since I don’t know that they would want them released for public consumption. Just rest assured that I “fit in.”

We didn’t win the contest, but we did have fun. There’s even a video of the performance that you might get to see the next time we’re all together. Until then, just enjoy this one pic and remember what Ash on “Supernatural” says about the do: “Business in the front; party in the back!!”

What About Ray?

As you all know, Mother and Dan are divorced. So, it would not be unexpected or unusual for me to find out that Mother is dating. Of course, it would be a little weird at first. It was when she first starting seeing Dan, but maybe that was the circumstances. If you haven’t heard this story, then enjoy:

After Mom and Dad got divorced, we lived in Deadwood for a while but soon moved back to Shreveport. Shortly after that move, Mother took us the park one afternoon. Oddly enough, she took us to a park in Bossier that we had never been to before. It was tucked way back in a neighborhood and was not a place that you would randomly happen upon. I think Mom told us that she thought it would be cool because it was also at the end of the Barksdale runway (if you’ve been reading my posts, you’ll know that this is the same park I took my kids to a couple of weeks ago). Anyway, while we were there, Caci noticed a man, his dog, and his daughter playing nearby. Like any kids, we were attracted to the dog, and we hung out with them for a little while before leaving.

A week or so later (I’m a guy, so I don’t remember exact timeframes; Caci could probably tell you to the minute), Mom decided to take us to Chuck E. Cheese in the Eastgate shopping center. While were standing in line, Caci glanced behind us and saw the same man from the park. She nudged me and commented, and I agreed that it was him. Caci told Mom that she was a little nervous that this guy might be following us. Mom said something to effect of, “isn’t he cute, though?” Which I think kind of grossed Caci out. Nothing against the guy, I just think 11 year olds don’t really go for 40 year olds very often.

A few days later, we came home from somewhere and this same guy showed up at our house. Caci was really freaked at this point, but Mom calmed her down, introduced us to Dan, and explained that they had been trying to give us some room but also gain some kind of familiarity with him. Having lived through that, I’m pretty sure that if Leah is ever gone and I decide to date again that I won’t choose to go down the, “hey kids, that girl that you think is a psycho, child-molesting, stalker is really my date” route, and I doubt that Mom would do that again either.

Anyway, back to the present. Caci called me last night to tell me that Bubba’s mother saw our mother at a church function over the weekend and that she was with her husband. Caci was stunned, so she called me. Why not call Mom? I don’t know. She called me. She even had Mom’s new husband’s name: Ray.

Who the heck is Ray? I don’t even know anyone named Ray, and Mom’s already dated the guy and gotten married without telling us. She was just at my house last weekend. I would have thought that it would come up in conversation, but not even Logan whispered a word. Oh, wait, maybe he doesn’t know either. It would be tough to trick him since he’s home schooled and they spend all of their waking hours together, but Mom’s tricky that way. I remember when I was kid and she had me convinced that the tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter Bunny were all real. I mean that was three doozies all at once. If she could pull that over on a guy as smart as me, getting married behind Logan’s back would be cake.

So, who’s Ray? The kids finally have the upper hand. We know that she’s married again, we know his name, and she still thinks we’re in the dark. We’ve got to use this to our advantage. Just to throw her off guard, I called this morning and told her that the “sun’s RAYs seemed extra bright today,” and that “I just love being married…it’s like a RAY of sunshine in my life.” She tried to cover by telling me that she had a great time with Uncle Terry, MawMaw, Papa, and Logan at a church cookout this weekend. She said it was kind of funny that Blake and Carter kept thinking that she was GranGran (Aunt Patti) and then gave me some lame story about MawMaw calling Uncle Terry “T-Ray.” Sure, that’s MawMaw’s nickname for Uncle Terry. Sure, his middle name is Raymond. All circumstantial evidence if you ask me.

She’s obviously trying to throw us off the scent by suggesting that this is all just an innocent case of mistaken identity, but I think we all know better. Caci, when you get the chance, give Mom a call, think up as many different ways as you can to work “RAY” into the conversation, and listen to her squirm.