What the H*LL?

Continuing the stream of name related thoughts that I've been pondering this week, I found two interesting articles yesterday.

First off, there is at least one study into this idea that names somehow relate to our lives: http://www.richardwiseman.com/quirkology/surname.html. Richard Wiseman (Is anyone surprised that a man named Wiseman likes to study stuff?) apparently studied the impact of surnames on daily life. In an online study he determined that people with surnames beginning with letters near the start of the alphabet tend to do better in life (i.e. perceived to be more successful) than those with surnames starting with letters closer to the end of the alphabet. His reasoning is that almost everything involving lists of names gets alphabetized by last name, so the Blair, Brown, Bush, Cameron, and Branson families are just used to being first and it's no wonder that they are massively well-known in our world today. That makes some sense, but it still doesn't cover why when I say that I met a guy yesterday named Brad that you all have an image in your mind of what a Brad ought to be.

In other name related news, a boy in Australia was denied enrollment at a Catholic school: http://www.nbc5i.com/education/13655937/detail.html?rss=dfw&psp=nationalnews. Given the recent publications of the Vatican you might think that the boy's family is Protestant, but it's really much simpler. The boy's name is Alex Hell. The good news is that besides having a great shot at being successful in life based on Mr. Wiseman's study, the school has backed down and granted Mr. Hell the right to enroll his son. After all of this debacle, though, Mr. Hell is not sure that he may not accept the enrollment offer.

I would have thought that the nuns would be all about enrolling little Alex Hell. It would give them an opportunity to cut loose without getting in trouble with their Mother Superior. I can just imagine the nuns trying to teach class and asking for volunteers:

"Awww, Hell, come on up here. I really do love it when you volunteer"

Or maybe they've gotten little frustrated because homework wasn't turned in on time:

"Hell, son, you've really got to get your act together."

Or they take the kids to the local skating rink for a field trip:

"That boy is Hell….on wheels."

Okay, so maybe some of those are lame. You think up some better ones and post them in your comments.