Shake It, Baby

Honestly, I've never been to a strip club. I've never seen a strip show. I've never really had a desire. Of course, I understand the concept. I've watched plenty of cop movies, and everyone knows that in order for the detective to crack the big case he has to turn in his badge and go to the strip club. All of the baddest criminals in the world own or at least hang out in strip clubs. I guess that's part of the reason why I never wanted to go. I'm not a criminal or a detective.

The truth is that I've known some guys that went to strip clubs, and they all said the same thing. They all said that the women were not really worth the money. Now it might have just been the clubs that they were going to, but they all reported that the women looked like they'd been rode hard and put up wet and that most of them were probably wearing bags over their heads during the riding part. So, why bother? If I wanted to see a bunch of naked women, I could always just go and get a nice, fresh copy of Playboy or some other staged and airbrushed photo filled magazine.

All of that was right up until I saw this article yesterday:

http://www.nbc5i.com/news/13817761/detail.html?rss=dfw&psp=nationalnews

Apparently, the next time that I'm in Port St. Lucie, I need to hire Ms. Nantz. According to the police report, she only turned away from her client for a few seconds and when she looked back he was passed out. Now, that, my friends, must be one heck of an @$$.

Of course I wonder if he really passed out, or if he just wanted to get around that pesky no touching rule. After Ms. Nantz noticed that he was not breathing, she immediately started CPR, which reminds me of scene from the movie The Sandlot. In the movie, one of the kids fakes drowning so that the lifeguard he has a crush on will perform mouth-to-mouth on him. It worked in the movie….sort of. Why not try it with a stripper?

I think the guy is lucky that Ms. Nantz knew CPR. Without her quick thinking, he might not have made it. So, I wonder if CPR training is something that all strippers receive just in case something like this happens? Or do they judge the need for you to know CPR based on some "hotness" factor. Is the management of the club trying to determine the likelihood that you would make a client pass out? And do girls at both ends of the scale receive training?

I mean some of the girls would be so unbelievably that men might pass out from excitement. On the other hand, some of them could be so wrinkled and nasty that you'd pass out in fear that she might want to give you a free lap dance. I'm betting that Ms. Nantz is not the latter since she was invited to the home of her customer for a private show.