Oscar, Is That You?

I don't much care for cats. We had one as a pet for a while. It was somewhat interesting, but it's nothing compared to a dog that actually wants to be around you. I'm just glad that our cat wasn't named, Oscar, didn't live in a nursing home, and never killed anyone. The "Cat of Death" as I'll call him resides in Rhode Island, and apparently has the ability to either predict when patient's are going to die (as the nursing home workers suspect) or the ability to silently murder old people in their sleep (as I suspect). You can make your own judgement:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718

Now imagine working in a nursing home with the "Cat of Death." You're a highly trained medical professional, and you're scared of a cat. At least I would be. According to the article, the cat curls up next to people, and they die a few hours later. There's no way I'm feeding a mass murdering feline. It might decide it likes me and try to curl up in my lap. Sure, it would all look innocent. The sadistic little beast purring in my lap. His beady little eyes begging for me to scratch behind his ears. Well, we probably wouldn't even get that far. About the time that "Kitty from Hell" starting winding his way around my ankles, I'd be running home screaming like a girl.

On the other hand, I'd be scared to not feed it. I haven't put any food in his bowl all day, and I'm sitting in the break room eating my turkey sandwich. Cats like turkey. Cats like any kind of bird. This cat, though, just likes killing, and I'm now at the top of his list. I haven't fed him, and he's angry. Of course it all ends the same. I'm running home screaming like a girl, but this time I'm begging for my life and apologizing at the top of my lungs for not feeding that cat.

So, besides the fact, that having this cat on the premises seems to create a hostile work environment. How would you handle telling the family when they come to say goodbye to Grandpa? Do you tell them that the last time you checked he was doing fine and then this cat came in here and boom he's dead. How do you explain that you're not going to put the cat "down" just because he killed Grandpa? Grandpa was going to die anyway. And what do you about the little kids that want to play with the cat? The parents are bound to think you're nuts when you tell them that it's unsafe for the kids to be around this particular cat, but it's okay to keep it in the nursing home.

Me? I'm just glad that I don't have a cat, and right now I'm looking around hoping that none of Oscar's buddies are anywhere near. A cat like that can probably read and may well have already sent a crack team of cats, hamsters, and field mice to take me down on my way home this afternoon.