Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Besieged at the Bar

How do you handle a situation where you're completely surrounded by men with guns?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19795748/?GT1=10150

From what I can gather out of this relatively short article, Mr. Dana Farrell Shelton was intoxicated on Sunday night and police were dispatched to investigate a disturbance at the bar where Mr. Shelton was drinking. By the time the police arrived, though, things seemed to have calmed down and they found no issues. The police just simply asked Mr. Shelton, who they noted was obviously intoxicated, to move along.

Mr. Shelton is apparently not a "happy drunk" and must have taken this request as a belligerent command for he obviously felt threatened. Here he was minding his own business, now that he'd gotten those crazies in the bar to leave him alone anyway, and a bunch of guys with guns have him surrounded and are trying to tell him what to do. He obviously had no choice but to call 911, and I can only imagine how that conversation went:

Officer on the scene 1 (oos1): What's he doing now?

Officer on the scene 2 (oos2): Oh, he just got out a cell phone…he's probably just calling a cab.

OOS1: Cool. Anybody want to hit the Krispy Kreme with me?

[Mr. Shelton was actually frantically dialing 911 for help and they had just answered]

911 Operator: 911. Please state the nature of your emergency.

Shelton: Yeah…..ummmmm……..yeah……..ummmmm……..they've got guns……ummmmm……yeah.

911: I'm sorry, sir, did you say that someone near you has a gun?

Shelton: Yeah……ummmmm……they've all got guns………yeah…….and I'm surrounded.

911: Sir, can you tell me where you are?

Shelton: Yeah…….I'm at the bar……I was just having a drink when they came in with guns.

OOS2: Hey, guys, did he just say he has a gun?

OOS1: Nah, he ain't got no gun. I think he said he was done having fun.

911: Sir, can you tell me anything about the men with guns?

Shelton: Sure……yeah……..well………here's the thing……..I'm kind of surrounded by Largo police……….and they've all got guns.

911: Is this joke, sir. Did you just say that you're surrounded by the police?

OOS1: Dude, he's talking about us.

OOS2: What did he say?

OOS1: Something about being surrounded by Largo police.

Shelton: Yeah…..ummm….that's right….I'm surrounded by police.

911: Sir, you do realize that you have dialed 911, right? We are the police.

Shelton: Well…….ummm……darn………I guess you're not going to help me then.

911: Sir, I would be happy to send some help just stay where you are.

OOS1: Did you guys hear that?

OOS2: Yeah, it sounded like dispatch just called us to help out a guy that's surrounded by us.

OOS1: Mr. Shelton, we're here to help. What do you need?

Shelton: Wow……ummmm….that was fast [hangs up his phone]……can you get rid of these guys with guns?

OOS1: Absolutely, just come with me.

The next thing Mr. Shelton knows he's being escorted off to jail with a misdemeanor charge for abusing the 911 system, but I want to know who else was he supposed to call in such a dire situation?

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