Over Your Dead Body

Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's and wondered if you could really pull something like that off? Or worse yet, what if you were the one interacting with a corpse and you didn't realize it? What could be worse than that? Well…..how about waking up during your flight from Delhi to London and discovering a corpse seated next to you?

Read the full article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17683917/?GT1=9145

So, apparently, Paul Trinder, woke up from a brief, in-flight nap to discover that the vacant seat next to him had been filled and another nearby seat was now occupied by a weeping woman. "What the heck?" he thought, "When I checked-in, I was the only person in this part of first class, how did these people get in here?" As he reached to ring for the flight attendant to ask for some assistance with the noise from all that wailing, he accidentally bumped the elderly lady sitting next to him. He quickly apologized, but she didn't even budge.

"Snob!" he thought to himself, but quickly decided that that was no way to treat a lady and he decided to make small talk. "So, where are you from?" he asked. No response. "Are you flying home or going for a vacation?" No response. "CAN….YOU….HEAR….ME?" No response.

Just then the plane hit turbulence, and the nice old lady slipped out of her seat. Not slipped like she was sneaking away to the restroom. Slipped like slid through the seat belt onto the floor. Slipped like a limp rag doll. And she still didn't say a word. Paul's freaking out now, and the flight attendant finally appears. Obviously, the woman is in need of assistance, and the two of them reposition her in the seat after which the flight attendant explains that since the lady died shortly after takeoff, they decided it would only be proper to upgrade her to first class.

"And you didn't think it would be good idea to wake me and ask if I wanted to babysit a corpse on the way home?" Paul asked. More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again. They reposition her again.

"Well, sir, it's just so crowded in the back, and we didn't want the passengers to feel uncomfortable flying next to a corpse," replied the flight attendant. More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again. More wailing in the background.

"Am I not a passenger, too? Do I not get an opinion on this? And how did you get her up here in the first place?" More turbulence. Body slides to the floor again.

"I do apologize sir, but we don't have anywhere else for her to be so that she doesn't really disturb anyone." More turbulence. They catch the body before it slides away this time.

"It's disturbing me. Can't you put her in one of those special flight attendant seats?" More turbulence. They start stuffing pillows around the body to hold it in place.

"Sir. We can't put her in one of the jump seats. Those are for flight attendants only, and it just wouldn't be right to give preferential treatment to a passenger simply because she died." More turbulence. More pillows.

"Preferential treatment? Are you kidding me? You're going to have to buy me some liquor if you want me to stay in this seat next to the human Slip 'n' Slide."

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the way it went down. I don't know Paul Trinder and there's not much to go on in the story, but I can just imagine a couple of members of the flight crew with an old lady hanging on to their shoulders while they move slowly down the aisle explaining that she had a little too much vodka tonic before boarding. Apparently, you can fool almost an entire airplane with that Weekend at Bernie's gag. Who knew?

New Orleans

I'm back on the ground again after a quick trip to the Big Easy. It was a last minute deal that came up last week:

Cade: "I need you to get a ticket to New Orleans for Sunday afternoon returning Monday afternoon….Can you do that?"

Michael: "Do you still sign my checks?"

Anyway, we were supposed to leave on Sunday to have dinner with a prospective client Sunday evening in Covington, LA. So, both I and our office manager looked for flights on Sunday and the best we could both come up with was an American Airlines flight on Sunday morning at 9am arriving at 10:30am. Since I didn't have to meet anyone until 8pm for dinner, I wasn't really keen on that option, but we saw no alternatives.

Cade was also flying out with me, and we reported our findings to him in preparation for booking the flight. About thirty minutes later, he sent me confirmation that I was booked, with him, on a flight leaving DFW at 2:10pm. Hmmm….. Maybe I missed something the first time around. I searched American's web site again and it again only returned the 9am flight. When I searched for the specific flight number that I was booked on, it returned that flight, though. Perhaps I was booked on a flight reserved only for those with an insane amount of airline miles. Regardless, I was happy that I would still be able to attend church and teach my 4^th-5^th class before we left.

After we arrived at the airport, they announced that our flight was delayed until 2:40pm. Apparently, the plane that we were going to fly on was being taken out of service. I wasn't too thrilled about having to wait longer at the airport, but I was glad that they took the plane out of service before I got on it. Next, though, they announced that the plane that we would be flying on was scheduled to arrive on time at 2:15pm. Let's do some quick airport math here: assuming that the plane is actually at the gate at 2:15pm, how many workers does it take to get everyone de-planed, clean up after them, remove the luggage, load the new luggage, give the crew a chance to catch their breath, load new passengers, get all carry-on items crammed into the bins, pull away from the gate, taxi, wait in line for a runway, and get in the air. I don't have a calculator handy, but I can promise you it's longer than 25 minutes. As it turned out, we were getting on the plane at 2:40pm which was much faster than I expected.

Once in New Orleans, we had to trek to the one exit from the airport through the longest airline terminal with no moving sidewalk known to exist. I think there might be a mathematical equation where bean counters figure the maximum number of steps that a passenger carrying luggage is willing to go before they are driven stark raving mad and start slaughtering innocents with the wire hangers from their garment bag. At the New Orleans airport, it would only take one more step for them to have crossed the line and installed a moving sidewalk or tram system.

All we were looking forward to was resting for a second at the rental car counter before the final dash to our car and the long drive over the Pontchartrain. Hiking through the airport, we identified elusive, small signs directing us forward toward the rental car counters until we finally arrived at the counter itself. Wouldn't you know it? The sign at the counter says, "Go back three spaces." What kind of messed up game is this anyway? Really, it says that we need to go back the way we came, ignore the posted signs, go a different direction, and catch a shuttle bus. Okay.

Finally on the shuttle bus, we were able to rest our legs for a while and catch our breath. Who says travelling messes with your ability to get a good workout? Anyway, the driver kindly asked if we needed directions to wherever we were headed, and Cade said that we did. Immediately, she started spouting off directions in a quick, rapid fire manner. Hands were flying, her head was turning, it was like a history lesson, foreign language class, interrogation, and modern dance recital all rolled into one. And the best part is that we were on a mostly empty bus that rattled every time we hit a bump in the road.

For those that are not familiar with the state of Louisiana, let me assure you that there are more bumps than smooth spots on the roads in my home state. Basically, what I heard of the directions was: "hoo boy! Nawh, you gonna go 'bout……..miles, and you gonna turn………and then you gonna head on through……stop lights. Den you gonna look to your……and you see a big ol'……Den after dat, you gonna go 'nother……miles and you gonna turn…….at the …….. red light. Got it??"

Cade looked at me and said, "I hope you got that, 'cause I'm getting old, and I could barely tell she was talking."

After we arrived, and the bus was quiet, I looked her right in the eye and got the directions again. We were set.

Now, have you ever driven or ridden across the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway? It's actually two bridges that run parallel (one northbound and one southbound) and they are each about 24 miles long across Lake Pontchartrain. It's reportedly the longest bridge in the world, and there is a section in the center from which you literally cannot see land at all. It's a neat deal, but it's also stressful to drive. You know that it's not really any different than any other road, but being completely surrounded by water for so long can mess with your head, so you're nothing but excited to see land at the other end.

Once on the other side, we drove right past the hotel. Finally, we stopped to ask directions at a service station, and the girl behind the counter told me that she wasn't sure there was a Courtyard by Marriott in Covington. Great! The customer behind me, though, said that he knew where it was, and he was surprised that we missed the big sign. Well, we followed his directions back and found that "big sign." It stood about 3 feet off the ground, behind a row of hedges, behind two trees, and 30 feet off the road. I can't believe we missed it either.

Now, before we left, I asked Cade what kind of attire to bring. At the time he was wearing a polo shirt and some khaki pants, and he said that he would probably wear something like that to dinner on Sunday night and then a suit and tie to the meeting Monday morning. I decided to go a step further and wear a long-sleeve dress shirt to dinner Sunday night and a suit and tie to the meeting Monday morning. You can imagine my surprise when Cade arrived in the lobby of the hotel as we waited to go to dinner wearing a suit and no tie. Crap! I was under-dressed compared to him, but maybe the guys we were meeting had dressed more casually. Nope. Both of the guys we were meeting were wearing sport coats, Cade was in a coat, and our other salesperson was in a coat. I'm the only guy at dinner who's simply wearing a dress shirt. I made light of the situation claiming that since I work in IT, I can play the socially inept nerd card and get away with being a little underdressed. They laughed and we had a great dinner.

We ate at Copelands and had a great visit. Our waitress, on the other hand, was having a bit of a rough night. She had a very difficult table of about 12 that were apparently visiting from Israel. She kept coming over to our table, apologizing for having to spend so much time with them, and telling us what was going on. She said that they were grilling her over the details of how the food was prepared, to which she said she replied, "I prepare by punching some buttons on that computer screen over there and then a few minutes later food comes out that little window over there and I bring it to your table." I'm guessing that they didn't like that response because they next asked to "yell" at the manager. Yes, she said that they literally said "yell."

Later, as we were getting ready to order desserts, Cade asked what was the absolute best thing on the dessert menu:

Server: "Bananas Foster Cheesecake."

Cade: "Great! I'll have that."

Server: "Well…..we don't have Bananas Foster right now."

Cade: "Okay. Then I'll have the Bananas Cream right below it."

Server: "Well….See….The reason that we don't have Bananas Foster is that we don't have any bananas."

Cade: "Alright. I guess I'll just have bread pudding."

She was a little spicy, but she was funny. Poor thing, though, after she brought our desserts and we noticed that her problem table had been cleared, we asked how it all turned out. She started crying right there on the spot. Apparently they had left her absolutely nothing for all the work she had put into trying to help them enjoy their meal. Jerks! We left a bit extra on our tip to try and make up for it, but I'm sure it wasn't quite the same to her as if they had left something.

The next morning, our meetings went really well. So well, in fact, that Cade and I had to move our return back to a later flight. After we finished up there, we started the drive back to New Orleans and back across the Pontchartrain Causeway. On the southbound side, we noticed something different, though: a toll booth. You can drive north across the lake for free, but you have to pay to drive south. It's not too bad of a price: $3.00. Try driving 24 miles on the Dallas Tollway, and I promise you'll spend a lot more than $3.00, but why do they only charge to go south?

We asked, and the lady in the tollbooth informed us that they used to charge both directions. Once they realized, though, that basically everyone who went north across the lake had to turn around drive back south across the lake, they just upped the toll on the southbound side and started collecting the toll only on that end. I wonder if that has helped the residents on the north side of the lake feel any better about where they live: everyone that comes here and takes a look around just wants to get back across that lake to New Orleans.

Anyway, we made it back to the airport without incident, had some lunch, and our plane left on time. Amazingly. Of course, we did still have to contend with a power hungry, intercom junkie of a flight attendant. I kid you not, out of the entire hour and a half flight, she was probably on the intercom for an hour of the time. She even, at one point, told people to tap their neighbor on the shoulder if they had headphones on so that they wouldn't miss out on her important announcements. And when we landed, she asked everyone to refrain from using their cellphones, even though American allows it while you're taxiing, because it would be rude for passengers to try and talk while she's doing announcements. When we finally got to the gate, we still couldn't get off the plane because she was still yakking on the intercom telling us all to come back and fly with her again. Not if I can help it!

All-in-all, it was a good trip, and in a crazy twist of fate, we actually managed to leave DFW from gate C27 and arrive back at DFW at gate C27. Now, if you haven't flown much, that might not surprise you, but at DFW, you consider yourself lucky to land at the same terminal you left from; it's absolutely unheard of to arrive at the same gate you left from.

Sex Ed

I got a letter from the school just a day or so ago informing me that the fifth graders at Reagan's school will be shown some films related to "their changing bodies" and they will be separated by gender for the viewing. I don't really have an issue with this, but I do have a concern about how things will be approached after reading a news article this morning. I'm really more of a factual, straightforward, scientific kind of guy that would prefer for my children to know the correct names for the different parts of their anatomy and for my children to be comfortable using the correct names for the different parts of their body. It really helps to be able to speak clearly.

If I say that I have a bump on my skull, then everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about. On the other hand, if I said that I had a bump on my noggin', then you might wonder if I meant my thinking noggin' or my sitting noggin'. On the other hand, if you don't push the proper terminology, then it can cause confusion when someone uses it. For example, little Timmy tells his buddy, Jake, that he broke his ulna and Frank freaks out because he always thought Timmy was a boy. Or Susy asks her boyfriend if he'll check to see if her uvula is swollen and he starts thinking he's going to make it to third base. We've got to be educated on the correct terms for our body parts to avoid confusion. So, maybe you can understand why I'm a little concerned about the girls in New York state that have been suspended for using the word vagina in a presentation (full article here).

If you can't use the correct term for a part of your anatomy, then what are they going to be saying in these films that Reagan is supposed to watch? Surely, they won't say "See You Next Tuesday" (think about it, and if you still don't get it, call me) or anything that might be mistaken for a reference to cats. At least I hope they won't. I'm just not sure anymore. If we can't use the proper terms, then what other options are left to us? Would these girls have been suspended for using any term that referred in any way to that part of their anatomy? What if they had decided to not say anything at all and just showed everyone what they were talking about? Would that have been okay?

It just seems absurd to me that you can suspend someone for using the correct name for a part of your anatomy. I suppose that you could use a term in a context that would make it bad, like if I called someone a pain in my ulna. Maybe that's worth punishing, but my understanding is that their usage was nowhere near that line. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what kind of terminology Reagan learns for the different parts of her anatomy.

Please note:

The girls in the article were reading from the feminist play "The Vagina Monologues" written by Eve Ensler. The play itself has been the source of much controversy in many different venues, and I cannot take sides in any of those controversies. I do not know anything about the play, so I cannot say that I agree or disagree with the content.

Parasite

Nearly two months until the next episode?? Aaargghhh!!! It's just starting to get really good. You know the drill. Highlight below to read more.

I really thought that Claire was going to try to run when they pulled over to use the payphone, but I'm glad that she made the smarter move to ditch the Haitian at the airport. I use the term "smarter" loosely. It was smarter if she really needed to get away from him, but it was pretty stupid when he's the only guy that's actually trying to protect her right now. Of course, we knew that she would try to make her way to New York to meet up with Peter again, and I totally loved it when she met her grandmother. All of us watching together said, "I wonder if she's knows that's her granddaughter?" When Peter's mom opened the door, and we were all relieved when she identified herself as such to Claire. What a great scene.

So, now we know who in Claire's family is giving the Haitian orders that supersede HRG's. So, what does she know of the company? Is she allied with the Haitian to bring them down? How long as she known about Claire? What does she really know? You would think from the fact that she's working with the Haitian and that she's obviously aware that Claire is on the run that she would know something about the company. Does that also mean that she knows something about the abilities? Does she know about the secret that Peter, Nathan, Claire, and the others share? And what language were she and the Haitian speaking?

Speaking of Nathan, I was very happy to see that he's been working to bring Linderman down. If you recall, I was concerned several episodes back that Peter and Nathan seemed to drop their focus on stopping Linderman when their dad died. I wondered why it seemed like they were giving in and Nathan was taking money from him for his campaign. It was a relief to find out from last night's episode that he is actually working with the FBI to bring Linderman down.

Of course, the FBI was pretty stupid setting up surveillance inside of Linderman's own hotel. It's no wonder that Jessica was able to find and dispatch them. It's interesting, though, that Niki was able to come out briefly to leave a picture for D.L. to find and she was able to come out for an extended period to save Nathan, but where was she when the FBI guys were getting gunned down? Why couldn't she save them? I really don't understand how she works, and truthfully, I still don't much care.

It was awesome when Hiro met up with Nathan again and did the hush, hush, "flying man!" Pretty funny. And I think that he really hit the nail on the head in describing Nathan. He pretends like he doesn't care because he cares too much. What a great way to describe him. It showed through, too, in the way that Nathan gave Hiro access to the curator so that he could steal the sword. Then Ando showed up to save him. Another great moment. And Hiro has his power back. Did anyone else notice the change in Hiro's demeanor simply from holding the sword? It was pretty cool. He's getting much closer to the Hiro that met Peter in the subway.

Back to Nathan again. What made him think that it would be a good idea to try and kill Linderman with a pistol? First off, I never really believed that he would be able to pull the trigger. Second off, if he really was going to try and kill him, why do it so loudly? That's just a good way to get those 574 security guards to kill him, too. What's Nathan going to end up deciding, though? Does he want the "life of meaning" which translates into slave? Or will he realize that his life has meaning as a hero? I'm betting on the latter, but they've written it just so that we're not sure.

I love Malcolm McDowell as Linderman, too. "Now you can't have any of my pot pie." Definitely the best line of the entire episode. He's just such a great nice, bad guy that he's hard not to enjoy. I would have expected more of a godfather type, big office, big chair, self-appointed emperor of the world type of guy for Linderman, but I really like the direction that they went. A confident, but easy-going character with just enough hint of crazy to make you certain that you don't ever want to cross him. I mean, I really wonder if that pot pie doesn't have a few pieces and parts of the last guy that tried to kill Linderman in it.

HRG met up with his new partner, who is totally cool and totally hot all at the same time. You better believe that Leah would not have been uncaring if that girl showed up to take me on a business trip. I might as well not come home. Anyway, I love the way that they introduced her abilities when she came in the door as Simone. I figured from the preview last week that Simone wasn't really coming back, and I was glad to find out that I was right. She was a throwaway character, and I'm glad to be rid of her. Now if we could just get rid of the whole Sanders family, we'd have an amazing show.

Anyway, after they cleared out Simone's stuff, Isaac went back to painting. It seemed like he was looking for a high, but I couldn't really tell from the way the scene was cut whether he shot up or whether he stopped himself and dropped the syringe. Either way, he painted what appeared to be his own death. I couldn't be certain from the stretched out screaming face and the missing piece of his head, but it looked to me like he had painted artwork in the background and we know that Sylar is coming after him soon (probably next) so it seems to fit. Will Hiro show up earlier this time and help stop it? I hope so.

Back on HRG. I can only imagine how confused he must be to not remember what happened to Claire and his house. He's back to thinking that everything is a secret and thinking that he has to protect Claire. I'm sure that he was scared half to death not knowing for sure who has her or where. Last week we all wondered what happened to his wife and Lyle's memories. Did the Haitian have time to erase them or not? How cool to know that he did not. HRG used his wife to pass himself a message, and she knows at least a part of what he does for a living. Of course, the fact that his memory is gone means that he doesn't know for sure how much he told her, and when his new partner posed as his wife, she was able to easily pull him across the line. What's going to happen to him now? Where's his wife? Where's Lyle?

Mohinder, back in New York, is finally catching on to Sylar. Perhaps it was the DNA sample, or perhaps it was just the news article. Either way, at least now he knows, and he tried to stop him. A paralyzing agent to keep his powers at bay but not a powerful enough one apparently. Sylar managed to stop the IV and gave quite the inspirational speech to try and convince Mohinder to work with him. Mohinder has enough bottled rage that he never doubted what he would do to Sylar, though. What a contrast to Nathan's inability to kill the most evil man he knows. Mohinder pulled the trigger. I think it might have surprised Sylar a little, but not as much as it surprised Mohinder to see that bullet hovering in the air. Not to be rooting for the bad guys, but that was a pretty cool moment. Now Mohinder is in trouble and Peter inadvertently steps into the middle of that fight. I'm hoping two things: one, that Peter and Sylar have an awesome fight with them both using their variety of powers, and two, that Peter doesn't grow back that annoying lock of hair that Sylar cut off. And one other thing: it seems that we now know what Hiro was talking about when he told Peter that he looked different without the scar.

Outback Steakhouse Service Decline

I don't know if any of the rest of you like Outback Steakhouse or not, but Leah and I have been fans for quite some time. It's always seemed to us that it's a fun, reasonably priced place to get a pretty decent steak. Then came our last two visits. I'm pretty sure that there must have been some significant changes at a corporate level in the past couple of months because the food quality and service quality have declined significantly. Honestly, we gave them a break after our first bad experience since it was Valentine's Day, but after going through the same thing last night, I've got to say that I probably won't ever go back without some guarantee that things are back to normal. Let me know if you've had a similar disappointing experience at your local Outback, and read the letter that I just posted on their feedback site below:

To Outback Steakhouse:

I have been a longtime fan of Outback Steakhouse. My wife and I have considered the cheese fries to be the best available for at least the last 10 years, and we have always enjoyed the quality of your salads and steaks. Really, it's the little things that matter to us when we visit Outback, like the unique taste of the croutons in the dinner salad, the salt on the baked potato skin, the seasoning on the steak, and the crispness of the cheese fries. As fairly frequent patrons to the Outbacks in Garland, Plano, and Dallas, I can say that we've almost never been disappointed. Almost never.

Our last two visits have been to the Garland location and the Dallas (635 & Greenville) location and while the service and quality were consistent in both visits, it was noticeably lower than in any past visit.

Initially, I excused the service and food quality at the Garland location based on the fact that we were dining on Valentine's Day and the restaurant was very crowded, but after the exact same experience with the exact same order at the Dallas location, I wonder if there are not changes at a corporate level that are pulling down the quality of the chain.

Specifically, my family and I ordered cheese fries that we would normally expect to find hot and crispy. Ours were soggy and covered in rubbery bacon bits. For our meals, we ordered our usual Outback Special which is generally a great value for steak. It might seem nitpicky, but one of the things that I look forward to in the Outback salad that comes with this meal is the unique taste of the croutons and ranch dressing. Neither of those were present in either visit. Sure, there were croutons and ranch dressing, but they were both just plain, not all the way they should taste at Outback. As a matter of fact, I was so disappointed that I didn't even finish mine. Next up, the steaks. First they were delivered incorrectly. Mine to my wife and hers to me. Not normally a big deal, but what are the odds of that happening twice in a row and at two different restaurants? Next, they were cooked incorrectly. Mine was way too overdone and hers was not done enough. In both cases we ordered medium rare for me and well done for her. In both cases we got two medium well steaks. The only way that we knew the orders were placed on the table incorrectly is that we had different condiments on our potato. Speaking of which, what happened to putting cheese on the baked potato? Outback has never been big on loading a potato full of cheese, but I've at least been able to tell that there was some in there. In these past two visits, I've searched and searched to find only the tiniest bit buried under a small dollop of butter in my mini potato. Because one visit was on Valentine's and the other was squeezed between two meetings, we did not send our food back for fear that it would take another 45 minutes before we were able to eat. In the interest of time, we just slathered on the A-1 (a detestable thing to have to do to a steak) and finished our meal as best we could.

Thinking that I may have been alone in noticing these changes, I have asked other family members and friends if they noticed any changes at Outback Steakhouse in recent months and nearly all of them have confirmed the same experiences and disappointments with no prompting from me. Please note that your former customers have noticed the changes and we are not pleased. Honestly, I'm happy to see a Texas Roadhouse being built a few doors down from the Outback in Garland so I'll have a new place to find a reasonably priced steak dinner.

Company Man

I was sick and in bed all day yesterday, but I dragged myself up the stairs to watch this one show. It took all of my energy to stay up for that one hour, and I am so glad that I did. By far one of the best, if not the best episode yet. This is what Heroes should be like every week. I loved it. Highlight below to read more:

I've said it several times before on this blog, and I'll say it again. I'm not convinced that HRG is evil. I think he really does love Claire, and I think that this episode proves it. He was willing to die to protect his family, and he didn't try to play any games about it. Sure, he tried to bluff early on and pretend like he didn't know Matt and Ted, and then he made one calculated move by leading Matt and Ted to the bookcase so he could grab a pistol, but once he was disarmed, he did everything that he could to protect his family. From that point on, he warned Matt about his actions through his thoughts, brought Ted his file, and told Matt and Claire the truth. I hate to say it, but I could really start to like the guy.

It's funny how being a father changes a man. Mr. Sulu (Mr. Nakamura) said something like that to HRG as he was holding the baby Claire in his arms. I think this episode really showed us how it changed HRG from a straight company man recruited into a shadowy organization into father determined to balance his work against protecting his daughter from his work. At first, HRG didn't even want a kid, then he took her as an assignment, and finally he couldn't give her up. At least now we know why he kept erasing his wife's memories of Claire's ability, why he destroyed the tape that Zach made, why he erased Zach's memory, why he erased the quarterback's memory, why he erased Lyle's memory, and why he tried to erase Claire's. He didn't want the word to get out that Claire had an ability because he didn't want to have to give her to the people that he works for. It was because of his job, but not because she was the job, because he didn't want her to be the job.

Some interesting things showed up in this episode, too.

First off, they found Claire at the Deveaux (I was misspelling it in previous posts as Devereaux) building. Why does that building seem like ground zero for so many of these "heroes"? Claude hides out on the roof taking care of pigeons. Simone's (who may be special based on the preview for next week) dad (who may also be special as we've discussed here in the past) seems to have been the owner given the name of the building, so it there a connection there? Isaac paints it and spent time there with Simone regularly. Claire's birth mother started a fire there to escape HRG and Claude (or so it seemed in this episode, although, I really thought that the fire had been in Texas based on past episodes). Claire was found there. Peter is training there. What's so special about this building?

Second, Mr. Nakamura seems to be ultimately in charge of the organization HRG works with. So, does Mr. Nakamura really know about Hiro's abilities and was just playing dumb when the two of them last met? Does he, like HRG, not want the organization to find out about his child? Heck, is Hiro even really his child? I want to know more about Mr. Nakamura and Nakamura industries.

Next, what's the deal with Claude? He believes that HRG is a good man after working with him and he believes that he should be helping "his people." So, why did he have so much trouble getting around to helping Peter? Why has he been in hiding, growing more and more bitter, all of these years? Was he really that disillusioned when HRG actually pulled the trigger? Which, by the way, it seemed to me like HRG accidentally pulled the trigger the first time based on the way he jumped and the look of surprise on his face, and only once he realized that he had started down the path did he get the resolve to try and finish the job. Of course, another question, there is whether or not Claude was hiding someone. HRG was ordered to kill Claude because he was hiding one of "them." Based on next week's preview, could that be why Claude is always hanging out at the Deveaux building?

And we can't leave out the Haitian. Obviously, HRG has some way to signal him that we don't know based on the fact that he told Matt that he had sent out a signal for help. And apparently, the Haitian is good at not talking since basically everyone thought he was mute, including HRG, right up until this episode. Everyone except Claire, at least. But who is the Haitian really working for. I'm not sure that I got the quote exactly right, but I thought that he told HRG, "I answer to someone who's orders supersede yours….In your daughter's life." What does that mean? Who is he talking about? Finally, when he first showed up to reboot Mrs. Bennet the first time, who really believes that that went off without a call to 911? An upper middle class housewife sees a black teenager walking into her bedroom in Odessa, TX; I'm telling you, she at least tried to dial to 911 as soon as she got a glimpse of his dark skin.

Ted and Matt are now back in custody (so to speak), too, but where was Hana throughout this whole ordeal? She sent them on this fool's errand and then hid in a corner somewhere? She could've downloaded the info off those computers by just thinking about it, so why wasn't she with them? Matt apparently, is going to be let free to partner with HRG. Perhaps he'll be the replacement for Eden. Ted, on the other hand, is going to be kept for observation. What is this organization really up to, though? Why are some kept and some freed while a certain few are recruited to work for them? I think Matt working with HRG will bring out more good in HRG than it will bring out bad in Matt. But what's the deal with the new "hero" that was in the room with Matt when HRG and his supervisor (Eric Roberts) walked in? I wonder what kind of power she has.

Finally, HRG himself has been shot and memory wiped so that the Haitian can hide Claire and give him plausible deniability. That means that they will be after both of them soon, and HRG may not remember that he doesn't want to chase her. How will that change his character? And what is going to happen to Lyle and Mrs. Bennett, they both know the truth about Claire again. Have they been wiped again, too? I think it was a really great moment when HRG finally realized that he couldn't give Claire to the company, but that it would cost him to continue protecting her. I don't think that a little memory loss and a bullet wound are quite all the payments he's going to have to make on this deal, though.

Unexpected

Finally an episode that captured my attention in much the same way as the very first. With almost all of the plot lines intertwined, I'm not even sure how to write this post, but you know I'm going to do my best. Highlight below to read more.

First off, Mohinder and Sylar found another one of the heroes (I hate to call them that since they are obviously not all good, but I don't have a better collective name for them). This one was a woman named Dale which threw Mohinder for a bit of a loop at first. After a few moments of convincing, she finally confided that she had super hearing, and that she didn't want to lose it. Mohinder, the naïve little geek that he is, agreed to return with "Zane" (Sylar) the next day to run a few tests. Interestingly, Dale's blood was identified through the human genome project; I wonder if all of the others on Mohinder's list were identified the same way, and if so, does that imply that there may be more people with powers that did not participate in the project and remain unknown?

Sylar, of course, returned in the middle of the night and murdered Dale to take her power. Who didn't see that coming? That's what I thought. It seemed like Mohinder was getting a little suspicious of "Zane" when they arrived at the hotel, but that seemed to be mostly gone by the next morning. I wonder what will happen next since Mohinder seems determined to call the police and report Dale's murder and Sylar, of course, doesn't want to have anything to do with it. For a smart guy, Mohinder sure doesn't know much about what the police do to the guys that run from the scene.

Along another thread, Hiro and Ando were still separated; each with one half of a crooked gaming commission scheme. I've got to tell you that normally I enjoy the Hiro/Ando subplot, but this week it seemed really stale. I didn't catch any great lines, and I'm really tired of Hiro not having his power. The one great moment in this whole story was the cameo by Stan Lee as the bus driver.

Now for all the stuff that's intertwined. Matt still has the diamonds that he took off of his dead client, and in a brilliant move he gave a ring from that loot to his wife. This guy really used to be a cop? Did he not ever work a burglary? What was he thinking giving his wife stolen goods? Anyway, his wife, of course, innocently took it to the jeweler to get it sized and was informed that it was worth about $40,000 and he wanted to know how she got hold of it. You guessed it, another fight ensued between the husband and wife and resulted in Matt agreeing to take the diamonds to the station.

Before Matt could make his move, he got a call from Ted. Ted had met up with Hana Gitelman back in Nevada and the two of them were planning to invade PrimaTech paper to discover the truth about HRG and the experiments that were done on them. Before they could carry out their plan, though, Hana wanted to bring Matt on board. Matt met them both in the cemetery where Ted's wife was buried, and they obviously agreed to work together. The next scene they are in together is in Texas at HRG's house where they are taking the family hostage and looking for answers. I wonder how HRG will handle this? I wonder what we will find out next week about HRG's employer? I wonder how Matt explained needing to go on another trip? And I wonder what's going to happen to those diamonds?

Earlier, though, Claire had continued to notice issues with her mother's memory. At first, she didn't recognize Claire or Mr. Muggles, and then moments later she knew exactly who everyone was and seemed normal. That didn't last long, though, before she collapsed. In the hospital Claire took a chance on the doctor after the doctor assured her that anything she said would be held in the strictest confidence. Under those terms, Claire confided that the Haitian had been erasing her mom's memories. Naturally, the doctor said she would have to talk to HRG about that. What's the deal there? Didn't the doctor just promise confidentiality?

Of course, that sparked a conversation between Claire and HRG where she was finally able to tell him exactly what she knew and how she felt about it. She's really turned cold toward him, and I like it. The question, though, is what will happen with Ted, Matt, and Hana in the house? Will Claire side with them or with HRG?

But before any of that took place, HRG was in New York talking to Isaac. Poor Isaac has the best intentions of saving the world and winning back his girl, but he's working from a place of ignorance. He doesn't really know that he's being manipulated and he doesn't really understand HRG's game. Of course, neither do we, but at least we know that he's not interested in saving Peter. Anyway, Isaac informed HRG that Peter was invisible which then let HRG know that Claude was also still alive.

HRG found them on the roof of the Deveaux building and managed to take Claude down before attempting to hit Peter. Peter stopped the taser nodes before they could hit him, though. Now, right there, I'm sure that there's going to be some discussion over whether Peter just stopped the nodes or whether he stopped time. Leah, at first, said that he stopped time because he picked that up from Hiro, but I disagree for two reasons. One, if he had just stopped time, he would have had to move out of the way and the nodes would have kept moving toward the spot Peter had been in, and two, if he had stopped time, Claude would not have been breathing in real time while the nodes hovered in the air. I agree that Peter should have the ability to manipulate time since he was with Hiro, but I don't think that he realizes it yet.

Anyway, Peter was finally a pretty cool character. He was pretty much past the whining about his condition and into the using his powers. It was really cool when he broke the staff and even more cool when he flew with Claude. Finally, it was just awesome when he showed up in Isaac's studio to confront him about HRG and Simone. Although I didn't really care for Peter as a bad guy (and I don't think he's going to be bad; I think he was just angry), I really liked seeing him use his powers with confidence. Unfortunately, the one thing that both guys wanted walked in the door during the fight and Isaac ended up killing Simone. Of course, she could come back, the show already has two people that could travel in time, but I'm not sure if I want her to. I think it will be better for the Peter/Isaac dynamic for her to be dead.

Lastly, before Simone could show up at Isaac's apartment she had to stop and speak with Nathan. She encouraged him to go public and Nathan explained that that would not be a good idea. I wonder if he will feel the same way after he learns that she's dead? Or will that galvanize him to actually use his powers and at least admit to himself that they exist?

The Mile High Club

Back to the airlines again. Only this time I'm not interested in bashing security or anything like that. I just want to take a minute and examine that fantasy scene from many a movie where two people end up in the lavatory together and get jiggy while cruising at altitude.

I've flown many different times on many different planes, and the one thing that's been consistent about every one of those trips is that the lavatory is barely large enough to hold me, so I've often wondered how crazy in love (or lust) do you have to be in order to even contemplate trying to put two people in there together? I don't at all understand how they could fit, and even if they did figure out a way to fit, I really don't see how anyone that's not a part of Cirque du Soleil could really get any kind of physical enjoyment out of the experience (trying to keep it G rated here).

I figure it does happen in real life else there wouldn't be so many stories about it, but the couple would have to already be intimate, be wearing disposable shoes (your feet have to go somewhere, and you don't want to walk around with blue shoes the rest of the day), and be extremely flexible. As it turns out, though, my assumptions are incomplete.

If you're a celebrity flying to an STD awareness conference and you have no condoms available, it's magical. At least that's the impression I get from this article about Ralph Fiennes. According to many different news reports, Mr. Fiennes followed a flight attendant into the plane lavatory where they had an unprotected romantic encounter while he was on the way to participate in an STD awareness conference.

What's Mr. Fiennes going to say at the conference? I imagine something like, "All, I would just like to say that you should never have unprotected sex on an airplane, with a flight attendant. It's very risky and dangerous. As a matter of fact, I tried it on the way here just to be sure, and I nearly broke my neck and sprained my ankle just trying to get the job done."

And how did this happen in the first place? Maybe the flight attendant was walking by while Mr. Fiennes was reviewing his notes for the conference. She glanced over his shoulder at his reading material and said, "Hey, I've done that before. It wasn't as bad as they're making it out to be." To which Mr. Fiennes obviously replied, "Really. I'm not sure. Can you show me?"

I just wish I could be there when Mr. Fiennes gets back home and is hanging out with his celebrity buddies telling them about his latest conquest. I wonder how they would try to one-up him on this one.

The Mile High Club

Back to the airlines again. Only this time I'm not interested in bashing security or anything like that. I just want to take a minute and examine that fantasy scene from many a movie where two people end up in the lavatory together and get jiggy while cruising at altitude.

I've flown many different times on many different planes, and the one thing that's been consistent about every one of those trips is that the lavatory is barely large enough to hold me, so I've often wondered how crazy in love (or lust) do you have to be in order to even contemplate trying to put two people in there together? I don't at all understand how they could fit, and even if they did figure out a way to fit, I really don't see how anyone that's not a part of Cirque du Soleil could really get any kind of physical enjoyment out of the experience (trying to keep it G rated here).

I figure it does happen in real life else there wouldn't be so many stories about it, but the couple would have to already be intimate, be wearing disposable shoes (your feet have to go somewhere, and you don't want to walk around with blue shoes the rest of the day), and be extremely flexible. As it turns out, though, my assumptions are incomplete.

If you're a celebrity flying to an STD awareness conference and you have no condoms available, it's magical. At least that's the impression I get from this article about Ralph Fiennes. According to many different news reports, Mr. Fiennes followed a flight attendant into the plane lavatory where they had an unprotected romantic encounter while he was on the way to participate in an STD awareness conference.

What's Mr. Fiennes going to say at the conference? I imagine something like, "All, I would just like to say that you should never have unprotected sex on an airplane, with a flight attendant. It's very risky and dangerous. As a matter of fact, I tried it on the way here just to be sure, and I nearly broke my neck and sprained my ankle just trying to get the job done."

And how did this happen in the first place? Maybe the flight attendant was walking by while Mr. Fiennes was reviewing his notes for the conference. She glanced over his shoulder at his reading material and said, "Hey, I've done that before. It wasn't as bad as they're making it out to be." To which Mr. Fiennes obviously replied, "Really. I'm not sure. Can you show me?"

I just wish I could be there when Mr. Fiennes gets back home and is hanging out with his celebrity buddies telling them about his latest conquest. I wonder how they would try to one-up him on this one.

What Would Happen if a Man and a Shark Got in a Fight?

Remember when Jeffrey would come up with these crazy questions? We'd be driving down the road, and all of a sudden from the backseat you'd hear, "Michael, if a shark and a rattlesnake got into a fight, which would win?" Of course, my response was always something like, "Jeffrey, that couldn't happen. Everyone knows that the internal balance of hormones and enzymes in rattlesnakes would be completely upset by the introduction of ocean water into their respiratory system so that they were no longer able to properly process the atmospheric molecules necessary for life long before the rattlesnake ever met up with a shark." In other words, the rattlesnake would drown first and there'd be no fight (I've only learned brevity with age).

I saw this article today, and it reminded me of those questions. Now, before I read the article, I would have thought that a man and a shark in a fight would be interesting only for a short while. Those first few moments while the shark was toying with his prey and circling in the water would be reminiscent of a scene from Jaws and could produce some eerie tension. Right after that, though ,the victim (the man was never really a competitor in this fight) would lose an arm, a leg, or some other appendage, then he would start swimming around in circles like an out of control jet ski, and the shark would finish his meal and cruise off to let things digest. No drama, no fight, just another day in the ocean.

Having read this article, I must admit that my vision of the way this plays out was obviously missing one critical piece: Vodka. Apparently, when a guy drinks enough vodka, he'll start to think that it's a good idea to try and fight a shark, something that no sober man would ever really consider. And once he's crossed that threshold, he might even believe that he can win the fight. Fueled with this hope, a nearby shark to pick on, and a healthy serving of vodka don't forget, the guy in our article actually wrestled and caught a bronze whaler shark barehanded!

The article says that he suffered only small tear marks in his trousers, but I'm betting that if he's married his wife made up for that with the beating she gave him for being so dense. Is it possible that this guy also enjoys snorkeling in rodent infested waters? One has to wonder if he's not at least related to someone in Oregon.

The best part of the whole article almost goes without saying: the guy realized that what he did was not too bright after he sobered up. You think! And you just can't pass up this quote, "When I sobered up I thought about it and I said, 'I'm a bit of an idiot doing it'." Nah, an idiot would have gotten himself killed, this guy was definitely smart about it. Most people wouldn't have thought to anesthetize themselves before fighting a shark.

Valentine’s Day

This is for the guys. If you're a girl, read on at your own risk. You might get mad at me. You might think I'm a pig. You might not understand. But I know all the guys that have ever been in any kind of romantic relationship will get me.

So, I'm in trouble. I totally forgot that it is Valentine's Day when I rolled out of bed at 6am this morning, and now my wife is irritated. Of course, I don't really see the big deal. I'm lucky to remember to put on a shirt most mornings, and I have trouble getting my shoes on the right feet, so how is forgetting that it's Valentine's Day a big surprise worthy of irritation?

Personally, I really dislike Valentine's Day on the premise that I'm a loving, romantic guy all year long and to try and force it out of me on a single day is just not going to work well. How romantic is it really to get chocolate or flowers on Valentine's Day? They already know that it's coming. I think the romance of flowers and chocolate is defined by the amount of care and surprise that can be packaged with it, not the forcefulness of the FTD ads that say I'm a bad person for not buying those things today. Don't you agree?

It's like in Caci's post the other day about getting flowers at school because she'd been having a rough few weeks. That was romantic. Good job, Ben. The question is, would it have been so romantic if she had known about or expected the flowers? No way!

If I get flowers for my wife every day, she'll start to expect them and the romance will be lost. It would just be another bouquet of flowers; she might even get bored with them. Basically, what I'm driving at, guys is that the romance of giving flowers and gifts is defined by all the days that we didn't buy them anything. If you really want to be romantic on Valentine's, ignore your wife all day long and surprise her with flowers tomorrow.

Besides, everything will be on clearance by then anyway.

The views expressed in this article are intended solely for humorous purposes and do not reflect my deepest affection and love for my beautiful caring wife, the greatest mother and woman in the world. I really don't have any intention of ignoring her all day long not only because I love her so dearly, but also because I fear that I might catch a bad case of hypothermia if I had to sleep outside tonight.

Run!

I think last night's episode was one of the best so far. Highlight below to read more:

Finally, we got an episode that wasn't centered around the questions of, "why do I have these powers?" or "what do I do with this power?" or "how do I use this power?" Finally, we got an episode where the central story was just two characters using their powers. Matt Parkman working as a security guard used his telepathy to protect his charge and Jessica used her power to try and kill him. It was great, and if they continue to just use Jessica as an assassin, she might actually be worth keeping around. I'm just glad that there was very little whining from Niki about her sad, sad life. I much prefer Jessica if the character has to stay on the show.

Back in Texas, HRG and Claire are getting ready to go to blows, I think. Did you hear the sass she put in her voice when she reminded him that her mother was also having trouble with memory loss. She seemed to not even be afraid anymore to let him know that she's onto his whole do something evil then reboot everyone's mind plan. The sad part is that her mother (adopted) really is going crazy now, and it's probably the result of too many reboots.

The even worse part, though, is that Claire is being scammed by her birth mother. "He's going to pay us $50,000, and you're entitled to half." It makes me wonder what is her real angle? Of course, Claire was only interested in meeting her biological father, but her mother put the brakes on that, too. Too bad Claire couldn't see Nathan's face when he looked at the pic of her. I wonder if she'd have seen the same two things that I saw: sadness over not knowing her and recognition that she's the cheerleader Peter was trying to save. Little did Peter know that it was his niece. Cool!

Hiro and Ando, as usual, were fun, but I am starting to tire of the quest for the sword. I'm ready for Hiro to get his power back and become the man that tells Peter to save the cheerleader. It was awesome, though, when Hiro told Ando, "Stop saying things that I say to you." That was classic! Too bad that Ando was so easily swayed, though. You could tell that he knew Hiro would never have just left him, but I guess he's been single long enough that it only took one kiss to redirect his focus. So now Hiro is in the hands of a presumably corrupt gaming commission officer and Ando is in the hands of the officer's corrupt partner. How is this going to play out?

Lastly, Mohinder seems to have been fooled by Sylar, who now has another pretty cool ability. I'm not sure about how useful the ability is, but it's pretty cool. The surprising thing to me is that Mohinder didn't recognize Sylar. I would have thought that Chandra would have taken a picture of Sylar early on in the process. He seemed to be fanatical about documentation and he's got pics of several of the others, why not Sylar? Or maybe Sylar stole the photo after he killed Chandra? Unknown, but Mohinder at least has a file on him because he and Eden discussed it earlier in the season. I'm hoping that Mohinder does recognize him and is just playing along to save his own skin.

That's about all for this episode, but it's not all of the update that I have. Remember when I told you a few weeks back that I called the number for Primatech Paper that was on the business card HRG gave to Mohinder? Well, I also visited the website and applied for a job. I've gotten a few emails from them since that time letting me know that they accepted my application and that they would be sending more information soon. Today, though, I got the first email that had any kind of meat to it.

The message was actually from Hana Gitelman (aka Wireless). She's the girl that was chatting with Ted in the desert during the special scene that aired during Deal or no Deal. Her message told me to find the helix and then gave me a username and password to use after I found it. I found the helix hidden in the Primatech logo on the About page of the website. When you click on it, you're prompted for a username and password. If you try it, the username is "bennet" and the password is "claire". Once you key that in, the page will change and then a few seconds later it will change again to show files for people HRG is tracking.

There are four files listed. The username is "bennet," and each one has its own password:

C3001 is the file on Hana Gitelman. Password: HGghx11a

C3002 is the file on Matt Parkman. Password: MPggtn75x

C3003 is the file on Ted Sprague. Password: TSntz14b

C3004 is the file on Gabriel Gray (aka Sylar). Password: GGeh81zu

You can get all of these from Hana Gitelman's site at http://www.samantha48616e61.com/

Interestingly, if you read the files on these characters and Hana's website, you find that Hana was trained by HRG in manner similar to that of Sydney Bristow. She was recruited and trained to believe that she was working for the CIA, but when things got tough, HRG hung her out to dry. Now, she's trying to find out who he really is. We also learn that HRG doesn't want Sylar killed. He wants him recaptured for further study. Hana wants Ted to help her find Matt so that they can all go down to Primatech together to see what's really going on. Finally, HRG wants to locate Matt's wife so that they can run tests on the embryo to see if any abilities are going to be passed along. Interesting stuff that hints at things we might see in future episodes.

Snorkeling in Oregon

From Eugene, Oregon, the former residence of Aunt Sis (our temporary live-in nanny) comes a news story that is great on too many levels. Read the full article at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17091607/, but enjoy my take on it first.

John Cheesman thought it was going to be just another day enjoying his hobby of snorkeling in rodent infested waters looking for various species of fish. What could possibly go wrong? Well, you could get shot in the head. That would pretty much end the day for me. Before reading any further, let me just point out that I don't think it's funny when people get shot in the head.

It is funny, though, when you're wife says that the reason you survived is that the bullet shattered when it hit your dense skull. Seriously! How many times over the years did she get mad at him for being SO dense? How many times did she try to "get something through that thick skull?" I guess now she's seeing the silver lining.

Again, it's not funny when people get shot in the head. It is funny, though, when the guy doing the shooting mistook you for a nutria. If you don't know, a nutria is basically a huge swimming rat. Essentially this tells me that the victim was in serious need of a back waxing. When you appear to be a swimming rodent with a wet pelt, you've got some hair growth issues. Can't people get that through their thick skulls?

Really, it's not funny when people get shot in the head. But I can't help stating the obvious, "DUH!" that follows the police reporting that the shooter was on drugs. Apparently they arrested him for methamphetamine and marijuana, and I'm betting there's more that they just didn't find.

Seriously, I don't think it's funny for people to get shot in the head, and we should all be careful to not go snorkeling in rat infested waters with a pelt on our backs when drugged up felons with rifles are hanging around. It could be more dangerous than you think.

Eleven Years Later

Leah and I just celebrated our eleventh wedding anniversary this past weekend. Aunt Sis gave us the night off from the kids on Saturday, so we got a hotel in downtown Dallas and enjoyed a taste of freedom. I found us a hotel in downtown that is a renovated building modeled in a European style. So, even though the room was pretty small by Western standards, Leah really liked the European feel.

After dinner at Bob's Steak and Chop House, we found a Starbucks and enjoyed some coffee together, and then we spent a while just driving around downtown at night. It was pretty nice. Before long, though, we found a parking area and got out to walk around a little. This is important: I put the required $5 in the unattended box; Leah and I both double-checked the parking slot that I was in; and Leah (being more familiar with downtown Dallas than I) explained how to fold the money so it would fit in the box. More on that later.

So, we walked around a little and found out that Dallas has a Coyote Ugly bar. Have you ever see the show on TV where they are trying to find new bartenders for Coyote Ugly? I don't really get into reality TV, but I've seen part of one episode. They weren't hiring for the Dallas location. As a matter of fact, it was borderline false advertising. On the other hand, though, the name of the bar is Coyote Ugly, so what do you expect?

By the way, if you don't already know, Coyote Ugly is apparently a term used for the girl that looked "good enough" when you were drunk, but when you're sober the next morning and you're arm is under her, you'd rather gnaw your arm off (like a coyote gnawing off his leg to escape a trap) than wake her. I wouldn't know from personal experience, but they say that's where the bar got its name.

Leah and I did go in, though, just to say we'd been in a Coyote Ugly, and we felt really out of place. We weren't wearing nearly enough leather and chains and neither of us rides a Harley. We sat at the bar for a few minutes, though, and watched the people. There were several clumps of people in the place and this one guy just wandering around the room by himself. Well, after a bit we were ready to go, and Leah got up to use the restroom before we left. Here's the part that I'll probably regret telling you, but it's pretty funny: Not two seconds after she got up, this wandering guy grabs her barstool and sits next to me. I didn't notice at first, but I turned that direction and there he was. He says, "Hey, man, how's it going?" And not in a gruff manly voice, if you catch my drift.

If I was out of place; this guy was like being from another planet in this joint, and how is it that I can go in a borderline biker bar that's known for scantily clad bartenders and patrons dancing on the bar (none of which happened while we were there) – basically, a man's kind of place just this side of a stripper bar – and get hit on by another guy? Don't think that didn't bring my self confidence down. Poor Leah had to stroke my ego and tell me how manly and strong I am for the next hour.

So, we walked a little more and ended up standing in line for a dance club called Purgatory. While standing there, one of the doormen came out and addressed the crowd saying that if you had on athletic gear, baggy clothing, or any kind of tennis shoes you might as well get out of line because they were not going to let you in. They weren't going to argue about it, they weren't going to make exceptions, they weren't letting you in. About that time I notice the guy just in front of us in line. He's got on a jersey from his favorite basketball team, pants so baggy it's a wonder they were staying up, and high-top tennis shoes. How does a person get dressed and violate every section of their dress code policy at once? Pretty amazing.

After we danced a bit, we headed back to the truck. Guess what I found there? A parking ticket. It just says that I failed to follow the instructions on a sign, but I have no idea which sign I missed. I've got to call them in a bit and find out why I'm being charged $30 on top of the $5 that I already paid, but I really wonder if I didn't just fund someone's late night McDonald's habit with my first $5. Lesson learned: avoid unattended lots; there's no way to prove that you actually paid.

Next morning, we went out for a nice breakfast and returned home to find that the children and Aunt Sis had wallpapered the door to the house with notes describing their adventures. For example, we read things like: "Reagan won the food fight," and "Dixie doesn't really like taffy," and "Is four bowls of cereal too much?" It was really funny, and the kids enjoyed putting them together. Overall, we had a great weekend, and we were very thankful for Aunt Sis giving us a night off on our anniversary.

Distractions

A pretty good episode that seems to create more questions than it answers. See notes below:

First things first: As I said last week, Melissa has been right about Peter absorbing powers. Aside from the fact that I still disagree about where he picked up his pre-cog abilities, I have to give her credit for calling his abilities correctly. What a scene, too. Claude just tossed him straight off the building hoping that he would fly and probably not realizing that he could regenerate if he didn’t fly. Obviously, Claude is a few matches short of a book. And interestingly, HRG knows who Claude is. Seems like they are the ones that Claude is hiding from, so maybe that’s part of why he’s a little off center.

Isaac has been trying to find Peter so that he can save the world, but then we find out that he’s really colluding with HRG. So, is it really altruistic, or what? I don’t think Isaac really understands the part that he’s playing in this game yet, and I don’t think that HRG wants Peter just to keep him from exploding.

Sylar escaped and didn’t kill HRG. That leads me to believe that HRG doesn’t have any special powers because Sylar generally kills those that have powers. On the other hand, he killed the cheerleader without really realizing that she had none, so obviously I don’t completely understand what he’s up to. And it looks like next week he’s going to team up with Mohinder to help “find” the heroes. Creepy.

Honestly, though, ladies, would you have asked a crazy looking weirdo like Sylar to stay for dinner simply because he supposedly found your dog in the street. Does that man not just reek of psycho stalker? Wouldn’t you have said you were going to call your husband and really be dialing 911? That just seemed like some incredibly lame writing to me.

And how did HRG escape from his cell. Did Haitian man just happen along at the right time and let him loose? Of course, now Claire knows that her adopted mom has been rebooted once again, so I'm sure she's suspicious about what really happened while she was gone.

Claire found her mom and found out that her mom can start fires. Additionally, we found out that Nathan is Claire’s real father. Do you think that HRG knows that? I wonder if that’s why he tried to take Nathan from the hotel and left Niki alone. We can only assume that the reason Claire’s real mom has been on the run is to get/stay away from HRG. What’s she going to do when she finds out that he’s the man Claire calls Dad? That should be an interesting episode.

Niki got herself locked up in a mirror so that Jessica could get out of jail. What a crappy story line. And the DA dropped the charges simply because some DNA evidence turned up on a hardened criminal that was already on death row. Mr. Linderman must have quite a hold on the world to pull that kind of snow job or scare tactic. My question, though, is why does Linderman want Jessica released. She’s already wasted a ton of his guys, wouldn’t he think that she’ll just come after him next? I don’t see how this plays to his advantage unless he believes that he can get her to work for him.

Matt wasn’t in this episode at all which was just as good. He needs to figure out what he’s going to do about not having a job with the police or FBI anymore and how he’s going to raise his partner’s kid.

Which brings us to Hiro and Ando. Hiro pulled a nice little job on his father with his sister, and Ando had to go home without even a hug. Did anyone else notice that the license plate on his father’s car was “NCC 1701”? That’s the ship number of the Enterprise, for that may not get the inside joke. I thought it was a nice little homage to George Takei’s most famous role (Sulu). Too bad the painting got torn. I wonder how they will deal with that when they get to Linderman.

All in all, a pretty good episode.

Greased Lightning

We have some funny sayings in our culture, and I wonder sometimes about not only origins but also about how they could be envisioned in the real world. Perhaps it’s the result of a project we did back in fifth grade where my teacher (Mrs. Templin – the best teacher I ever had and also my aunt) had us draw some of these sayings. For example, some drew a brick with a beard and little piece of brick next to it to mean, “chip off the old block.” I suppose you could move that forward to nowadays and draw one of J-Lo’s old boyfriends (“Chip off the old block” since she’s just “Jenny from the Block”) but anyway. The one that comes to my mind today is “greased lightning.”

I don’t really know why you want to put grease on lightning, but an educationally responsible kid in Westerville, Ohio decided to take Mrs. Templin’s project to the next level. He didn’t want to just draw a picture of a colloquialism. He wanted to live it out.

According to the news reports, an eighteen year old student at Westerville North High School greased himself with oil to try and elude capture as he ran naked and screaming through the school cafeteria. As if cafeteria lunch wasn’t bad enough, now the other students have to endure the horror of seeing a naked kid covered in greasy oil running around while they try to eat. Unfortunately, for the student this is also the part where he got to be his own visual aid as the officer monitoring the lunch period used his taser not once but twice to stun the student. Greased lightning!

I always thought it was supposed to mean “fast,” but this kid was definitely not living that dream. Once the lightning was inserted into the equation this otherwise slow kid stopped completely. Maybe the lightning interacted with the grease in some strange way and had the opposite effect of what we would expect. One thing is for sure, though, in Ohio “greased lightning” should have a whole new meaning.

For example, if you were trying to tell someone about your drive home from work, you could say that it was like greased lightning: it went okay at first but then I hit a jam and everyone just stopped.

Or you could describe that birthday party for the kid next door that you had to attend. Getting through those two hours was like greased lightning. At first we were all running around the Chuck E. Cheese like lunatics, and then the tokens ran out. I thought my head was going to explode.

Try incorporating it into your daily speech pattern and we’ll see if it will catch on.

By the way, you can read the news report at http://www.nbc5i.com/news/10879220/detail.html?rss=dfw&psp=nationalnews

The Fix

The story really didn’t move too much in this episode, but hopefully they are setting us up for a good show next week. Highlight below to see more detailed notes:

Niki/Jessica….still don’t care. Although, I thought it was interesting that Micah is now a criminal, too. I guess that’s what parental influence can do for you.

Peter is still confused, and so am I at this point. What in the world could this new guy, Claude, teach him? And why does Claude talk like he knows a lot of the heroes? There are only 36 names on the list, so how many could Claude have possibly taught?

While on the subject of Peter, it seems that Melissa is right about Peter absorbing powers based on what Mohinder said about him being like a sponge. On the other hand, though, that doesn’t explain why his ability to use the powers fades when he’s not around the person that he absorbed from. He couldn’t fly at all by himself, but he did twice when Nathan was around. He quit being invisible when Claude walked away. He healed himself shortly after Claire walked off, but I’ll be he wouldn’t be able to do it again now unless she came back around. Maybe he has to be around someone for a long time to absorb enough of their power to use it on his own? Or maybe the powers are only triggered when the original owner is around? I don’t know. I think the writers need to clarify this some more.

Nathan still can’t decide what to make of all this. Last week I thought we were moving forward and that he was finally going to embrace the fact that he can fly and that others have similar powers. This week he’s back to denying everything and wanting to “fix” Peter. Somebody needs to make up their mind about this character and move it forward.

Claire is in trouble. I think HRG recognized the wind chime outside her window and now knows that she’s in cahoots with the Haitian. I wonder what he’ll do about that. I think he genuinely loves Claire and wants to protect her, so I think it’ll all come down on the Haitian. Maybe the Haitian will make him forget about the wind chime and all will be rosy.

HRG is in trouble of his own, though. Sylar is not dead and he’s got HRG cornered. I feel sure that HRG won’t be killed, but maybe Sylar will force him to explain his actions a little more so that we can get a clearer picture of what’s going on at PrimaTech Paper.

BTW, I called the number off the card that HRG gave Mohinder last week. It was just a recording saying that you reached PrimaTech Paper and that you could enter an access code. Since we didn’t see a shot of the access code that HRG gave Mohinder, I don’t have one to enter. If you choose “3” from the menu, though, it will give you a code to use online at http://www.primatechpaper.com. If you’re interested, the number is 1-800-PRIMA16.

Also, Claire seems to have found her birth mother. The one short clip of her left no question as to why the apartment burned down. She was probably trying to save her daughter from HRG and set the place ablaze with her fingers. Now, I wonder who the father turns out to be. I read an article about a month ago that was an interview with Greg Grunberg (Matt Parkman) where he said that he and Claire would have a very interesting connection. Could this be what he was talking about? I guess we’ll have to find out next week.

Finally, Hiro and Ando. The “Big Boss” is Hiro’s dad? So, is Hiro embarrassing him or something? Or does his dad know about the heroes, too? Interesting stuff. And I loved it when the subtitled: “GULP!”

What Would You Do?

A coworker of mine just told me about a situation at home that needed attending. I won’t name anyone here by name because other coworkers may be reading, but I will tell you that the irony of the situation is that at end of this day my coworker will want nothing more than a nice, stiff drink and there won’t be anything to slake the thirst. Let’s see if I can reimagine the dialog that led up this situation:

Coworkers Son (CS): Yo, buddy! How’s it hangin’? You kickin’ it real? Rollin’ it tight in da hood?

[Don’t imagine ethnicity here, you’d probably be wrong. I’m just trying to emulate “cool lingo”]

Son’s Friend (SF): Yeah. That’s right.

CS: Know what, man? I got this crazy teach in second period that’s always blabbing stuff about wars, dead people, and the old days.

SF: Yeah, dog. I got the same chick for third period. I can’t hardly handle sitting in that class.

CS: You know what I need? I just need something to take the edge off; to help me get through the day.

SF: I tell ya, man. You right. Ever since I got into ninth grade I’ve started hitting the vodka and Red Bull pretty hard. You got any of that around here?

CS: Vodka and Red Bull? That’s so seventh grade. You need the real stuff. Let me get you a C&C.

SF: Yo! If my mom found out, she’d kill me. Can you get me one now?

CS: Now? The bus is on the way.

SF: It’s cool man. I can drink it fast.

CS: Alright, but I hate for you to drink alone. I’ll pour myself one, too.

[Drinks are poured and chugged]

SF: Dude! That was awesome! Get me another. We got time.

CS: Yeah! Now I can’t figure out why my parents won’t let me drink this stuff all the time. (hiccup)

[More drinks are poured and chugged]

SF: You know what? You know what? You know what? We ought to just skip school today.

CS: Nah. I gggot that test in aaaalgebbbbra….haha, I said bbbra, and I cccan’t mmmmissss it. (hiccup)

SF: You can’t take a test now. You can’t take a test now. Did you just hear an echo? (BRAAAAP)

CS: SSSSurre I ccccan! I ccccould cccconquer the wwwworld tttoday! Gggget me another ddddrink!

SF: Listen to me. Listen to me. If you’re going to school we’ll have to leave now. You can’t have. You can’t have. You can’t have another drink.

CS: Ssssure I ccccan. Ppppput it in your bbbbbbackpack and I’ll hhhhhave it on the bbbbbbus. (BURP!)

SF: Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Kids leave with liquor and stagger to bus stop and after having a few more drinks arrive at school]

Principal (P): Good morning boys. How are you feeling today?

CS: Gggreat! And by the wwway, I must say that you are looking scorching hot today. Wanna make out?

SF: Yeah, baby! Let’s get it on!

P: Boys! Is everything okay? You seem to be a little woozy.

CS: Naw! It’s all ccccool. Never felt bbbbbetter. Gotta run, sssssexy! I’ll be back after this ccccclass.

SF: I’ll keep you company. I’ll keep you company, baby.

P: Boys, I think we need to call your parents. Come with me.

CS: What’s up wwwwith that? I gggggotta go to ccccclass?

SF: That’s right. That’s right.

P: Well, your class is not in the ladies rest room, and no one’s called me hot or sexy for a couple of decades, so something is definitely not right. Get in my office and wait for your parents.

Sure, I’m making up the dialog, but they really hit the liquor cabinet before school, and they took the liquor with them to school. Unbelievable! As it turns out, the school doesn’t take kindly to kids arriving intoxicated, and they are even less accepting of kids toting hard liquor, so the boys were sent home for a few days to “sleep it off” (aka suspended). I’m just glad that they aren’t old enough to drive or this story could have been really ugly rather than somewhat humorous.

Godsend

Finally, a new episode of Heroes to write about. It seems like it’s been forever since the show went on hiatus, so I was really surprised that my expectations had not built up to a point as to make this latest episode a disappointment. On the contrary, I really enjoyed it, and I felt like it covered a lot of ground. Highlight below to read more:

I still don’t see much point in the Niki/Jessica character. As impressed as I was that she snapped a guard’s baton like it was a toothpick, I still felt relieved when she got doped, put in a straightjacket, and tossed in a padded cell. Too bad she’s not dead.

What’s the deal with D.L., though? Why is he still bringing Micah around? For that matter, why is he bringing himself around to see Niki? The woman tried to kill him, and for all he knows (actually, he even implied it) she’s just plain crazy. That doesn’t really seem like a very safe environment for either him or his kid. I’d run like the wind, if it were me.

Claire obviously didn’t forget what happened, and now she’s getting fearful of HRG (Mr. Bennett aka Horn Rimmed Glasses). Good for her. And I really enjoyed the fact that she got to have a little conversation with the Haitian. Seems like he might be trying to subvert the efforts of HRG, though, so she better be careful. I think she’s just a pawn to him that can be used against HRG. Finally, I thought it was great that Claire started over with Zack and that he knows her secret again. Hopefully, he’ll keep it this time around, too. I just wonder if HRG knew that Claire had enlisted Zack to video her powers the first time around, what makes us think that he doesn’t know this time as well. And will that be dangerous for both of them?

HRG himself alluded more this week to the fact that he’s working for someone else. We just need to figure out who it is, and how do they know so much? Of course, as was revealed in his conversation with Mohinder, it seems that Chandra knew more than they did. So, who else is on the list, and what does HRG want to do with it?

Next up, Matt knows that HRG is up to something. I don’t really understand why the SWAT team couldn’t find any secret rooms, though. Seems like when they were looking at the blueprints and planning their assault, they would have noticed either a big difference between the physical footprint of the building and the plans or they would have seen the plans for the room. Unless it’s underground, but it’s always seemed to be on the ground level in past episodes where they’ve shown HRG and Eden entering.

Speaking of Eden. Sylar killed her at the paper factory, so why was her body found outside of Ottawa or Ontario or wherever they said in Canada? How did HRG manage to get her body up there to dump it and make it look like a suicide? And once Sylar killed Eden, he had her power and her gun, so how did HRG get him back in his cell and doped up on all those drugs?

Peter finally woke up, but I still don’t understand exactly what the deal is there. He’s trying to get to Nevada, which makes me think that either he believes he’s going to explode anyway, so he wants to be in the desert when it happens, or he knows that Ted Sprague is in the desert and he wants to find him. I’m betting on the former since his dreams never showed Ted. What’s the deal with the bum on the street, though? I get that he’s invisible, but why does Peter think that he can help?

And one more thing. What the heck was Ted doing in the desert anyway? Is he trying to learn to control his powers? Or his trying to learn to increase them?

And now everyone’s favorite: Hiro. They’ve made it to New York, and Hiro’s English is getting much better. I love the way that they worked in the painting of him with the dinosaur without having to time travel, and I’m glad that we finally found out what the symbol that keeps showing up everywhere means: Godsend. The question now becomes, how did it get on the sword? It seems to be tied to the heroes in that the Haitian wears it around his neck, Jessica has it tattooed on her shoulder (but Niki doesn’t, go figure), Isaac paints it, etc. So why is it on an ancient sword? Is it some sort of time travel paradigm where the symbol is on the sword because it’s a sword for Hiro, but Hiro ends up leaving it in the past to protect it or something? And is the guy that wielded it in the past also a hero? Or was that guy our Hiro but he just hasn’t traveled back to live that part of his life yet? Or maybe, and this is really reaching, that guy is Mr. Linderman, and he has the sword because it’s really his and it helps lengthen his gift of long life. Am I way out there now?

It was pretty cool, though, that Hiro, Isaac, Nathan, and Simone are all together now. Nathan is still trying to hide his power, but I didn’t get much bad guy vibe from him in this episode. I think he really wants to help Peter, and I think that he’s starting to understand that he and Peter are not the only ones with abilities. Simone sure seemed to turn around quickly, too, when Hiro started telling his and Ando’s story. Guess it sucks to be Peter right now because he just got dropped like a hot biscuit.

The Summit

I just started a new blog to coincide with a Bible Reading Plan that our church is sponsoring called "The Summit." I hope to be able to stay on track with the readings and post to the new site daily. Please check it out at http://michaelsummit.blogspot.com